Yae, Lula's love still burns with the heat of one hundred suns, and Argon's love for Lula burns with the heat of... not... any... suns... at all.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[The cast tries to comfort Lula after she finds out Argon has a new sword]
Ah, the guy's a weenie. You deserve better, Lula.
Yeah, and I thought his new sword looked kinda cheap.
Seriously, that tight scabbard left nothing to the imagination.
This is my secret princess cute and fuzzy chamber of peace.
Okay, so we'll skip to the girliest of girly things: manipulating boys. [Pulls out "Barbarian Teen Magazine"] In my hands, I hold the key to winning Argon's heart. An article in Barbarian Teen Magazine.
"How to Bag Your Buff Barbarian Beef Boy". Classy.
[Argon comes to Castle Udrogoth to ask for Lula back.]
Dave, here's my two weeks notice. I quit as of two weeks ago. See ya!
Meanwhile, without his sword, Dave is feeling a bit naked.
[Pulling a curtain that Dave is hiding behind] Dave, quit acting naked!
ETEnchanted toothbrush
Arrr! I'm waging a war on cavities!
ETEnchanted toothbrush
Don't forget to brush the tongue! Everybody forgets to brush the tongue!
[Dave, in disguise, delivers a fake sword to Argon]
Special delivery for, um, Mr. Ageless.
Who's it, like, from?
[Voice cracking] The queen! Of... Queen... Land.
[Lula tries to get Argon to forget about the fake sword]
Beat it you hunk of tin! I got a shiny, pointy, new sword!
We've had a little fun with dental hygiene today, but it's no laughing matter.
So be sure to brush and floss after every meal. Otherwise, evil tooth decay goblins will move into your mouth and play loud polka music day and night.
Thanks for listening, and remember [shouting] stay in school!
Um, excuse me. I ordered a book: "The Complete Poetic Works of Ped Xing?"
ECElderly Clerk
Ped Xing!? [Screams.] That's the worst stuff ever written! Thirty years ago, I read one of his poems, and I've been blind ever since.
Well, I-I'm sorry you-
NCNumb Clerk
And my left arm is completely numb.
Well, I'm-
ECElderly Clerk
And I lost both my legs.
[Looking under a table] Bu-but, you have legs.
ECElderly Clerk
Oh, I found them eventually. Down in the sofa cushions.
ECElderly Clerk
Ah! The book! The book! Heaven help us, the book! Yeah, I sold it two minutes ago.
[Princess Irmoplotz of Hyrogoth introduces herself to Dave]
Hyrogoth, ye-ah, yeah. I-I hear Hyrogoth. It has a lot of, ah, Daisies. There. In... Hyrogoth. [Thinking to himself.] How could I say anything so stupid!? Say something smart! Something Smart! [Speaking to Irmoplotz again.] I'm allergic to daisies, I get this terrible oozing rash- Oop!
[Dave and Irmoplotz talk about macrame owls.]
I call this one "Mr. Hooty!"
And I call mine "Sir Hootsworth McHootington the Third!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.