Danny Phantom quotes

Danny

Where did you get this?!

Jazz

From your computer.

Danny

You hacked into my personal ghost files?! And how did you get the password?!

It's Paulina Fenton.

Sam

Seriously Danny, it's not that hard to figure it out.

Jazz

How come you never told me Vlad Masters has ghost powers? And he has a thing for Mom?!

Danny

Because it's none of your business! [while he closes the laptop Jazz is holding]

Sam

[sneaking out of the closet with Tucker] If you don't mind, we'll be over there, doing the "glad I'm an only child" dance.

Jazz

Danny, calm down!

Danny

Calm down? How can I calm down with you constantly butting your nose in where it doesn't belong?

Jazz

I was just trying to help...

Danny

NO ONE ASKED YOU TO HELP, Because you're a lousy ghost hunter, [while people are listening outside the closet] an overbearing sister, and an annoying, obnoxious know-it-all who has no respect for her brother's privacy", SO STOP HELPING! [they gasp and Jazz begins running crying out of the closet and the people then glare at Danny]

Tucker

Do you want us to talk to Jazz?

Danny

I'm perfectly capable of talking to my own sister!

Sam

...Which is why you're hiding from her. In a broom closet.

Danny

No, I'm not!

Jazz

Danny, you in there?

Danny

Hide me! [jumps into a trash can]

Jazz

[crying at Vlad's doorstep] Oh... Uncle Vlad... [sniffs] I've run away from home. My father's an idiot, my brother hates me, and I wanna stay here with you. [sobs]

Vlad

Wait, what was that?

Jazz

I've run away from home?

Vlad

N-no, after that.

Jazz

My brother hates me?

Vlad

No, in the middle!

Jazz

My father's an idiot?

Vlad

That's the one! Come to Uncle Vlad! [happily escorts her inside]

Danny

We're gonna have to fight. But we're gonna need to make it look convincing. [Jazz punches Danny, sending him into the shield. He is shocked by the electricity and falls back to the ground]

Jazz

That's for humiliating me in front of the whole school.

Danny

Alright, I deserve that and I'm sorry, you're just trying to help, but please just follow my lead. [She punches Danny who gets electrocuted again then punches him repeatedly as he falls, but he phases her suit into the ground]

Danny

Will you listen to me for once in your life?!

Tucker

[about his PDA] It's picking up Technus! Something in his new upgrade is making my PDA all wonky.

Sam

Like at the mall... And the lab... And the ferris wheel! He's pushing Danny and Valerie together! [Tucker laughs] [unimpressed] If you're done, we have to tell Danny.

Tucker

[giggling and speaking] You wanna tell Danny that Technus is playing matchmaker? How do you think he's gonna react to that?

Sam

[annoyed] Are you done yet?

Danny

No. [keeps laughing] Okay, now I'm done. You're trying to tell me that Technus is trying to hook me up? Come on! Technus hates emotions!

Sam

And hello? He's using yours against you.

Tucker

Dim lights, stalled ferris wheel - You think the universe wants you two to be together?

Danny

Well, maybe, but... I don't know... I might.

Tucker

Uh...really? Because Tech...

Sam

[sees Valerie hiding] Uh... Technically because we just want you to be happy! If you like her we'll just have to make space for her at our table. [eye twitches]

Danny

Speaking of Valerie I was suppose to meet her before class. [Danny walks away and Valerie shows up]

Valerie

Did you mean that?

Sam

Um...uh...yeah, sure. If Danny likes you and you like Danny, the least we can do is give you a chance. [Valerie hugs Sam] Human contact...crushing Goth...indifference....

That could've been you!

Valerie

No, because it never was me.

I'm sorry I didn't believe you. You did do a good job protecting your friend. I guess I can let it go this time.

Valerie

You're only saying that because the suit's destroyed.

Bingo.

Jack

Danny! Word on the street has it that you've got a girlfriend! [to Sam and Tucker] Can you two leave so I can have a totally awkward "father and son"-chat?

[run off] Gone and gone!

Danny

Does it have to be awkward?

Jack

Yep! I'm gonna give you some fatherly advice. Then I am going to say something that makes you cringe and run out of the room in embarrassment!

Danny

Check. Advice, first?

Jack

Alright... If you really like this girl, Danny, you should let her know and give her something... Like this! [puts a ring on the table]

Danny

[surprised] A class ring?

Jack

A girlfriend's not a girlfriend until you give her a class ring, Danny. It also says, "I think you could be the girl I fight ghosts with"! [beat] At least it did with your mom - I don't know how appropriate that is for you...

Danny

[laughs] You'd be surprised. I can give her this?

Jack

Only if she's special. I'm sure Sam'll love it!

Danny

[alarmed] It's not for Sam!

Jack

[laughs, unconvinced] Of course, it's not! You guys are just friends! [leans in slightly] I even had it engraved! [Danny looks at the ring, and sure enough, Sam's name is engraved on the inside] See, that was the embarrassing thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for pie! [holds up a pie, Danny walks off] Clueless...

Sam

[sees Valerie following Danny into the sky] Uh...Danny. Danny. Come in, stay alert. You have company.

Danny

Company? What kind of company?

Sam

It's your girlfriend.

Danny

She's not my girlfriend until I give her the ring.

Tucker

What is this? 1955?

Sam

[gives Danny the ring] Here you go.

Tucker

You sure about this?

Danny

Well, she said she'd give up ghost hunting. For me. Besides, I like her, and she likes me – isn't it supposed to be that simple?

[shrugs] Clueless.

Valerie

[puts her hand on Danny's shoulder] Danny?

Danny

Wow. I-I'm glad you're here. I, uh wanted to ask you something.

Valerie

Actually, me first. [Sam and Tucker walk off] Danny, I've had a lot of fun these last few days, but my life's way too complicated right now for us to be anything other than... friends.

Danny

Just... friends? B-b-but I thought...

Valerie

I thought, too. But there's something important I have to do, and I don't want you to get hurt because of it. Besides, it's not like you were going to give me some lame class ring, right? [kisses him on the cheek]

Danny

Ye-eah, right.

Danny

[gives the ring to Sam] Can you hang on to this?

Sam

[tosses up the ring like a coin] Ah, clueless.

Danny

[after Dash asks where they should hide on Jack's indoor mini-golf course] Have you seen him play golf? The only safe place is the hole!

Dash

Man! Is everyone in this family bad at sports?

Dash

We did it! What do you think we just benched? Proportionally?

Danny

I don't know, dude. I'm not that good at math.

And soon, you will not be that good at breathing either.

[getting pelted with giant potato chips] Lime and vinegar?! Who eats those?!

Tucker

What's wrong with beauty pageants?

Sam

Other than the fact that they turn girls into shallow doormats and boys into drooling idiots? Everything.

Tucker

But it's got a swimsuit competition!

Our princess must appeal to the masses, so she shall be chosen by a common boy. Someone average and bland. [as she passes Dash, Kwan, and Mikey, respectively] Too popular... too athletic... too nerdy... [to Tucker] Too-

Tucker

Handsome? Smart? In-telligent?

Annoying.

Paulina

[to Danny] I baked some cookies for you.

I did your math homework.

Danny

Now, ladies. You can't influence the judge with cookies and - [sees the papers Star is holding] Whoa! Is this homework done all the way through next semester?

Mm-hmm.

Danny

This pleases me. [Dash grabs him and holds him in the air]

Dash

Hey, Fen-toid! It's only been two hours and I'm already tired of you hogging all the hotties! [Danny snaps his fingers, Paulina kicks Dash, making him drop Danny] Ow! Aah!

Get him! [Girls chase Dash away]