[Chris is eating popcorn as Dan comes to scare him]
How can you watch that filth?
How long have you been standing there?
Long enough to pity you. This afternoon, I was duped into being a puppet on a ridiculous reality show.
Hey! You're gonna be on TV! I don't want to be on TV!
I'm not an entertainer, Chris, I'm an entertainee. Which that slimeball fails to understand.
What slimeball?
Who cares?! Some stupid producer. Buddy something. Let's go!
[on TV] Tune in next week when we get cozy at Ninja Dave's cookies. Until then, I'm Tony Minestrone, telling you to stay cozy. Or else.
[on TV] You just watched a Buddy Star production. Way to go, you.
Buddy Star! That's the guy who bamboozled me.
[as Elise comes home] Hey, honey! Want to come meet a famous reality TV producer before Dan ruins his life?
Ah! Thanks, but I'm not really into Reality TV. Or Dan. Besides, weren't we going to fix the water heater?
[Dan clears his throat as he leaves Chris and Elise's house]
You're right. One of us should probably stay.
How hard is it to turn off a TV?
[on TV] This week on "Fake Date". An angry little man answers the wrong personal ad.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Dan Vs. quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dan Vs. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.