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S2 E13

Dan Vs. · Season 2, Episode 13

Elise, Dan and others in “The Telemarketer”

[while Chris is making cocoa, Dan and Elise are sitting down on the table while Elise is using her computer]

Elise

They can mess with Dan all they want. But call MY house? I don't think so.

Dan

67 voicemail messages? Since when do they leave voicemails?

Chris

I kind of miss telemarketing. Good hours, steady work until they outsourced all the call center positions.

Dan

Then let's get on a plane to India and kick some butts!

Elise

It's probably a little premature to fly halfway around the world.

Dan

Oh, you're so smart? What are you doing? And what is taking so long with the cocoa?!

Chris

Good cocoa takes time.

Elise

I'm hacking the companies the telemarketers were advertising to find out who does their cold calling.

Dan

That could take forever!

Elise

Let the record show I was done before Chris.

Chris

Do you want good cocoa, or rushed cocoa?

Elise

Looks like it's the company you used to work for, after all.

Dan

I knew it! I'm flying to Mumbai.

Elise

You'll be about 87 hundred miles off, then.

Dan

How do you mean?

Elise

They outsourced to Reseda.

Chris

What? That's just 10 miles away. I would have commuted there.

Dan

Come on, guys. It's up to us to stop this evil menace from destroying countless lives!

Elise

As long as we're back by brunch. [leaves the kitchen]

Dan

Are you coming?

Chris

[angrily] You do NOT ask me to make cocoa in the middle of the night and then leave before it's ready!

Dan

[worried] But-

Chris

[angrily] SIT DOWN!

[Dan, Chris, and Elise are drinking hot chocolate together]

Dan

[satisfied] Okay, that's really good.

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