Dan, Chris and others in “The Telemarketer”

[on the phone, walking around, furious] For the last time, I'm not looking for a great career! [Chris' drives by Dan's apartment] It's too much work! [hangs up] Aargh!! [to Chris] You would not believe the morning I had!

Oh? Did you finally realize that your anger is a defense mechanism that prevents you from meaningful introspection?

I have been repeatedly-

What?!

No. What are you--?! Never mind. I have been inundated with-- [his phone rings] Arrgh! One second. Hello? No, I do not want a subscription to "Knitting Today!" These stupid telemarketers have been calling me every 5 minutes since 9 this morning! And, call me crazy here, but they all sound like the same guy.

Yes. Telemarketers are wretched, soulless creatures, indistinguishable from one another, kept alive by evil magics to plague the world of the living.

Weren't you a telemarketer?

Those were dark times.

[picks up the call] Hello?

[on phone] Hello, sir. Would you love to donate to the "Save the Tapeworms" foundation? Hmm?

STOP CALLING ME!

Give me your phone. That should do it. I put you on the super-do-not-call list. It blocks your number from every telemarketing phone bank in the country.

Good. Now buy me lunch.