Elise, Chris and others in “The Telemarketer”

Chris! Did you hear that?

Are you calling this ship because the ship you're on has been captured?

Never mind. I'll handle it. [she does ninja moves as she goes down to the living room to find Dan watching TV] Dan.

Oh, hey Elise. You can't sleep either?

I WAS sleeping just fine. How did you get in?

Kitchen window was unlocked. Hey, since we're both up, how about you, toddle into the kitchen and make us some dairy-free cocoa?

What are you doing here?

Waiting for my cocoa, Elise. Chop-chop!

Last chance before I de-bone you. What are you doing in our living room?

I told you already, I can't sleep. They keep calling me.

Who does?

Telemarketers! It's like you don't even listen.

Why don't you turn your phone off?

I can't. What if Chris needs me in the middle of the night? Sometimes when a person is in a toxic relationship, they need a friend they can talk to.

Okay, this has been a hoot and a half, but if you don't leave right now I'm going to emasculate you.

I think you mean eviscerate.

I know what I said.

[wakes up as he goes to the living room] Elise? You coming back to- Hey, Dan. What are you doing here?

Chris, I'm glad you're up. Go make me some cocoa.

Dan! You are leaving!

I can't! The telemarketers know my every step! I think they work for some kind of shadowy quasi governmental organization.

Trust me, you are of no interest to the intelligence community.

Then how do you explain how they know where I am at all times?

They don't! [phone rings] Hello? It's for you.

Yes? [angrily] NO, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR DELOUSING SERVICE! HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER? [hangs up and the phone rings again] Well?!

Chris, would you make us some cocoa?