I've got something to do. Can you two get along for 20 minutes? If not, I can fire you.
[Dan runs up to pick up the bag from the present while the Mall Santa gets his sandwich out]
Hey Stinky, you're not on break.
Mind your business.
He's not so bad, you know. He just takes Christmas very seriously.
I hate Christmas.
I don't see how you can hate Christmas, you're Santa!
It's a long story... When I was a kid, Santa never got me the Sergent Sascatchawand action figure I wanted.
That wasn't a long story. And it seems like you've made an odd career choice.
This isn't my career. It's just something I do until my interpretive dance starts getting the recognition it deserves.
Oh.
Shouldn't you be in your fishbowl?
Probably.
[Dan is digging a pile of snow and sees everyone at the mall, while a dart shoots at the tree as Elise would be shocked wondering who's inside the snowman outfit, Elise would throw the shuriken to the snowglobe as Chris screams, then she vanishes]
Hey! Let me- Elise?
Who's the snowman?!
Where did you come from? I didn't even see you.
Who is in the snowman costume?! Tell me!
I don't know, okay? It's just some guy. Some guy I don't know.
What are you doing?
[laughs] Oh, it's gonna be awesome. See, the Mall Santa
I don't care. Never mind.
[the lights turn off as the mall closes]
Okay, closing time! Good merriness today, people! Except for you, Snowman. You were phoning it in. Get out of my snow globe.
[gets out of his snowman outfit] Oh thank goodness. It smells like feet in there.
Hey, Mall Santa, I was thinking Maybe we should bury the hatchet.
I don't know, I kind of like the hatchet where it is.
Oh, come on. Hey, want to see something cool?
Okay.
Check out the gingerbread house.
Yeah, it's great.
No, no. Look closer. Go on. There's eggnog over there.
What are you two doing?
Stinky wants me to look at the gingerbread house.
Why? Is something wrong with it?
No! Wait! [she steps on Dan's trap as candy canes would attaack her]
You're fired.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Dan Vs. quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dan Vs. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.



