“Denise Handicapped” quotes from Curb Your Enthusiasm

Larry

[in reference to the Fowler's adopted child from China] Let me ask you this question, have you noticed if she has any proclivity for chopsticks?

Why?

Why would she have a proclivity for chopsticks, Larry?

Larry

Well, she's Chinese.

Do you think she's also a Kung Fu master?

Larry

No, all I'm wondering is this, if you took an American kid who's never used chopsticks before and a Chinese kid who's never used chopsticks before, would the Chinese kid do better?

So the American kid is the control group?

Okay, you know what, she uses a fork.

Larry

Do me a favor.

What?

Larry

First time she uses chopsticks, gimme a call me and just let me know. Gimme a call and just say "Hey, you know what? You wouldn't believe it.."

You're gonna love this. It is the best piece of pie you've ever had.

Larry

Honestly, you know, I'm not eating dessert anymore.

Just have one bite. Come on.

Larry

I'm not in the mood, Ted. I don't want it. Thank you, it's a nice gesture but I'm not in the mood.

You're making me look like an asshole.

Larry

I had the option of ordering dessert and I didn't want the dessert at the time so I don't want the dessert.

Just have one little bite for my sake, please.

Larry

I don't care. I don't want it for your sake.

Be a friend, be a fucking friend, will you!

Larry

I'm being a friend but I don't have to take a bite just because you want me to! Okay?

Have a bite of the pie!

[starts to take the pie away] You know, I'm just gonna get this out of the way for you..

Larry

I don't want the pie! Thank you.

No, no. Put the pie down. Put the pie down.

Larry

No, don't. Here, take it. Thank you.

Don't pick up that pie. Put the pie down.

Larry

I'm not taking a bite, I don't want a bite! Take this fucking piece of pie and get it out of my face!

Put that fucking pie down!

Larry

Don't put that pie down! Do not put that pie down!

Jeff, let's take a walk.

Jeff

Eh, I'm comfortable.

Come on, it's gorgeous! Perfect walking weather. It's good for you.

Jeff

Nah, I don't want to. I'm not in the mood.

Please?

Jeff

No, I'm fine.

Get up off your fat ass and let's take a walk! It'll be romantic!

Leon

Denise called.

Larry

What'd she say?

Leon

Give her a call.

Larry

She leave her number?

Leon

Nah.

Larry

Damn it! I don't have her number or her address.

Leon

Call information.

Larry

I don't know her last name. She was in my BlackBerry under "Denise handicapped". That's how I remember these names. Don't you do that in your Blackberry? You put names down with jobs, some association, so you remember who they are? I got "Sean yoga", the yoga teacher, and "Teresa masseuse".

Leon

I do the same thing. I got "Nancy big tits". I know Nancy got big ass tits. "Janelle sweet ass"..