Curb Your Enthusiasm · Season 4, Episode 4
“The Weatherman” · Season 4, Episode 4
In this episode: Larry David (7), Jeff Greene (2), Marty (2), Cheryl David (1), Susie Greene (1)
[at Sol Funkhouser's dentist office, upset as Sol ruined his sleeve]
Oh, great, look he ruined the shirt, look, look at this cuff, and its flopping all over the place, look at that! whats with him?
He's not himself right now, his uncle has Hodgkins.
Yeah, but it's the good Hodgkins.
I didn't know there was a good Hodgkins.
I'm not saying it's a great Hodgkins, It's a good Hodgkins.
Hey Pop, do me a favor?
MMM?
Next time you use the bathroom, make sure to keep the seat down.
What are you pussy-whipped?
It's not really about her, It's about me, I pee sitting down.
Hey Lar, you ever hear of Denta Friend?
Denta Friend? No.
It's a new sonic toothbrush that would really get rid of your plaque.
What are you talking about, get rid of plaque. I don't have any plaque.
My cousin's hygienist told me you have plaque.
Your cousin's hygienist told you I have a lot of plaque?
What's the big deal? Plaque is not a serious disease.
First of all, number one I don't have any plaque...
(laughing)
Number two, she shouldn't be telling you, that's a breach of patient-hygienist confidentiality.
There is no patient-hygienist confidentiality.
You're so wrong.
It's unethical, not legally like a doctor or a lawyer, but its unethical is what he's saying.
It's totally unethical, and I don't have any plaque by the way, do i have an electric toothbrush?
He has an electric toothbrush.
How often do I floss?
At least twice a day.
Tell him I don't have any plaque, okay, did you tell him that?
You have plaque.
Do you wanna have a plaque contest with me Marty?
Let's have a plaque contest.
Anytime you want.
Anytime you want.
Fine, you want to?
Challenge me just like you do in golf.
...And how about that hygienist. It's like if you go to a prostitute, and the prostitute goes around and tells everybody that you got a small penis. Not that I've ever been to a prostitute... not that I have a small penis.
Beautiful day, huh?
Yeah, great day for golf. Whats up?
You know I was supposed to play today.
Really?
Then Jeff called me last night and cancelled because of your weather report about thundershowers.
He made a mistake, so what?
Oh, I said it was gonna be thundershowers?
Yep.
Oops. (laughs).
Good to see you Larry.
Take care.
Yeah, oops, too bad for me, too bad for me.
I don't quite get your point.
Alright, weatherman, I'm gonna tell you my point. I've got a sneaking suspicion that you're predicting rain to clear the golf course for yourself.
(laughing)
Oh my god.
That's ridiculous.
Ridiculous? Ridiculous? It's happened before weatherman you know it. You know what I'm calling the weather people on this.
Your gonna say report me because its a nice day?
I'm gonna report you because everytime you wanna play golf you make sure its raining.
Larry, first of all I'm not a weatherman, I'm a meteorologist, I'd appreciate a little bit of respect Larry.
Oh, excuse me doctor.
Okay, can you guys just calm down? We're in the middle of a game of golf here, alright!
Larry, theres a low pressure system sitting out over the coast, the jet stream brings that into this area, the jet stream is controlled by the rotation of the Earth, you know who controls that? God!
You know what? There's a jetstream of bullshit coming out of your mouth my friend, you are busted buddy!
Hey.
Came for my sneaker.
What happened to you?
I fell in the toilet.
How did you fall in the toilet?
I went to go pee and the seat was up.
What does that have to do with you?
I pee sitting down.
You pee sitting down?
Yeah, have you ever tried it?
No!
It's more comfortable, when you get up during the night you don't have to turn the light on and wake up, and you get to read.
What are you reading?
I'm reading a lot of stuff.
What stuff?
If I pee twenty times a day, I can get through a whole New York Times for God sake!
Twenty times?
Hey buddy, when your peeing all over your shoe, I'm learning something.
What makes you think I'm peeing all over my shoe while you're learning something?
Hey
Hey Lar.
Get this, the weatherman is a total fraud, he predicts thundershowers so nobody will show up and he can have the golf course to himself, I just came from there hes playing with your cousin.
Why do you pee sitting down?
Many reasons.
Do you crap standing up?
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