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S2 E7

Curb Your Enthusiasm · Season 2, Episode 7

“The Doll” quotes from Curb Your Enthusiasm

6 quotes

“The Doll” · Season 2, Episode 7

In this episode: Larry David (4), Jeff Greene (2), Cheryl David (1), Susie Greene (1)

Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is! All right, just get me the fucking [doll] head, all right?! Get me the fucking head, all right!? Both of you, I've had it! You four-eyed fuck and you fat piece of shit! Get me the head!

Excuse me.

AAmy

Yeah?

Do you work here?

AAmy

No.

How come you told me to, to get rid of the water, then?

AAmy

I saw you coming in with water, there's no water, it's the rules.

I don't understand how it's your concern, you don't work here.

AAmy

It's the rules!

Rules?

AAmy

The sign says no food or drink in the theater, I'm sure we would all like to have water.

Oh yeah, we're all dying of thirst. What are you, the hallway monitor here?

AAmy

Who are you that the rules don't apply?

I'm applying the golden rule, are you?

AAmy

I don't think the golden rule applies here.

If you had water, would you want me to tell you not to bring it in? I don't think so!

AAmy

How about common courtesy, bud?

Oh?

AAmy

A little common courtesy.

That doesn't supersede the golden rule! That's the big one.

So, tomorrow night, you guys wanna go to dinner before part two?

Uhmm...

No.

Well, I do wanna go to part two.

No.

You gotta go to part two! You're a part of the ABC Family!

Yeah, we're definitely going to part two.

Yeah, but we're not going to dinner with you though.

We've already made plans.

We don't have any plans, we just don't wanna go to dinner with you.

See this thing?

TTara

Uh-huh.

It's called a Swiss Army Knife.

TTara

Mm-hm.

You heard of Switzerland?

TTara

Um, yeah.

It's a country in Europe and they don't like to fight.

TTara

Huh.

They let everybody do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Jesus Christ! My penis is itching!

You know what? You put that doll head down there and who knows what that hair is made out of. You've got a allergic reaction, I'm telling you.

Yeah, I think I got some kinda rash. I gotta check out my penis, I have to go to the doctor now? That's going to be a lot of fun; "Where'd you get the rash?" "Oh, I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor. It feels good to me!"

TTara

Mommy, Mommy, that bald man is in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!

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