Anybody see anything?
When does anybody ever see anything?
S1 E11Tri-Borough
[figures out that a frozen chunk of human excrement had fallen from the sky and killed the victim] Holy crap!
You're telling me a crapsicle killed this guy?
S1 E12Recycling
All right, Danny. How does the DNA from the fingernail scrapings on the knife not match Brett Stokes? I mean, she's got 'motive' tattooed on her forehead.
Hey, don't kill the messenger...see what I did there?
Cute.
[Stella has just won a bet that she and Mac made on the outcome of the dog show]
You're going to make me pay?
Yeah, I'm going to make you pay.
I thought you were kidding.
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
[Danny is looking through a ladies' magazine, looking for a sample of lotion found on a murder weapon]
You know, if you wanted beauty tips, all you had to do was ask.
Did you know that waterproof mascara dries out your eyelashes? That's amazing!
At first, I thought this might have been a postmortem dog bite.
Those are no canine's canines.
[Danny and Stella question a pedophile about a murder]
Usually when you stab somebody, you know the guy's name. It's just common courtesy.
TGTheodore Gates
Well, I didn't stab anyone. [to Stella] What on earth is he talking about?
Your DNA was found on the knife that was used to stab Michael Starling.
TGTheodore Gates
I see. Was it a Swiss Army Knife?
Nice job, you got it on the first try.
TGTheodore Gates
[to Stella] Is it necessary that he be here?
What? What's the matter, am I too old for you?
[the magazine vendor, Mark Stutz, just explained he stabbed the messenger because he was sick and tired of bikers acting like they own the area]
[disgusted] Pedestrian rage. Why do I even ask?
[at that moment, a bike messenger speeds by, giving little warning, almost running Stella over]
Son of a bitch!
MSMark Stutz
Makes you want to murder 'em, don't it?
[Stella doesn't respond to his comment] Get in the car.
S1 E13Tanglewood
We've got the best forensics tool money can't buy. Snow.
[Stella sees a Derek Jeter bobblehead on the dashboard of an SUV she and Mac are processing]
Who is that on the dashboard? Mickey Mantle?
Looks kind of like Derek Jeter.
Derek Jeter from the Yankees, right?
Yeah.
Didn't they get beat by Boston or something?
We were up three to zero and then we got swept. But we're trying to forget that.
I'm not much into baseball, but A-Rod's kind of hot.
So this is where it all goes down.
Or up. Make sure you keep your gloves on.
You know, I didn't think it would be this clean.
Come on. Act like you've never been to a place like this before.
You kidding me? I've got girlfriends for that. Why would I pay?
All right, you. You're paying one way or another,..trust me.
Hey Mac, I got pearls.
Pearls? From who?
Not those kinds of pearls. I've got good news on our case.
[to Sonny Sassone, a member of the self-proclaimed "next generation" of the Mafia]
Let me tell you something about the Mob. Back in their heyday, these old timers, they dealt in death and violence because of one thing: business. Not sport. They were smart. You punks are idiots.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: NY pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.