Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Stella

Danny, help is on the way.

Danny

Well, I'll be in here.

Can you see me?

Danny

Yeah, you're beautiful. Now get me out.

Lucky you're not claustrophobic. Me? I do not like confined spaces.

Danny

Why'd you choose a career that puts you in a windowless room with dead bodies then?

Ladies love the degree.

Danny

6 years of med school to become a player, eh?

No...I was already a player, Messer. I just needed the bank to pay for my Porsche.

Danny

You know what? I officially hate you right now, all right?

[laughing] You done?

Danny

Yup. Only thing abnormal about this guy is the blood leaking from his neck.

Stella

Well you're gonna have to test it. Look around. Improvise.

Danny

Word of the day. Improvise.

Let's get a more precise TOD.

Danny

You're not serious.

There's gotta be a bathroom there, right?

Danny

Yeah.

Then be a good Boy Scout and go find a thermometer.

Danny

It's your lucky day, Doc.

Nice. Now plant it in the end zone, and put some points on the board.

Messer? Is it in?

Danny

Gimme a sec. Rigor's setting in.

Welcome to my world.

Detective Stella Bonasera

How does somebody get inside of a locked vault with only one door?

Danny Messer

If Houdini were alive, we'd have our killer

Danny

I just can't believe, two years have gone by, haven't heard one word and out of the blue Louie leaves me a message that says "I'm in the city, want to grab a beer?" Can only mean trouble.

Stella

Nah Danny, he's your brother, cut him some slack.

Danny

I don't know, you're right. If it's not trouble, he's probably looking for a handout.

Adam

Perfect timing, fellas. We are looking down from 22,300 miles from space.

Danny

We found our spores here on earth, Adam.

Adam

I am a scientist without a badge, Danny. Trust me.

Mac

[looking down the drain] Are you good with a wrench?

Danny

[chuckling to himself] Am I good with a wrench....

Adam

Hmmm. Aspergillus Sydowii.

Danny

I was just thinking about that.

Adam

It's the, uh...fungal spores found on Jennifer Fazotti's body.

Danny

Fungal spores. Says they're indigenous to the Sahara desert.

Adam

How does an African fungus end up on a murder victim in New York City?

Danny Messer

Well, hello, Miss Monroe. You clean up nice. Were you at the mayor's party also?

Lindsay Monroe

I was at the opera.

Danny

I am hanging out with all the wrong people.

Mac

18-hour shift wasn't enough? Now you're catching bodies on the way home?

Danny

Nah, the bodies are catching me.

Mac Taylor

You guys are on the music promoter.

Danny Messer

Like glue. [Mac walks away laughing]

Lindsay Monroe

He doesn't think that's funny. He's humoring you.

Danny

You don't know him like I do.

Danny

[seeing Mac playing bass in a club] Get outta here. You're kidding me? How did you know he played?

Lindsay

I figured it out. I could tell by the way he held the bass in the lab that he knew guitars and I knew he had a standing appointment on Wednesday. Could have been a shrink or yoga. But I took the music option.

Danny

I'm impressed.

Lindsay

Maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought.

Lindsay

[after indentifying the glue-victim as the music promoter] It's not as glamorous as I would have imagined. Where's the limo and the girls with the tight shirts?

Danny

Yeah, trust me. It's not like that at all.

Lindsay

You know more about this than your average CSI?

Danny

[in light reference to his baseball years] Yeah, I played for a while, enough to get a taste of the world, and that was enough for me.