Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

You know I've never been fishing, never even thought about trying. Seems kind of boring.

Detective Danny Messer

Until you hook something. I went fishing with my old man once on a pier near Battery Park. I caught the sweetest striped bass, must have weighed close to thirty pounds.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

Did you eat it?

Detective Danny Messer

Threw it back! Would you eat anything that came out of the Hudson?

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

Good point.

Wait, hold on a second. So then one of my swordfish, I paid full price for them, now they're worthless, tainted.

Danny

I'm sure Fred's sorry for the inconvenience his murder has caused your restaurant.

Danny

[looking up as Lindsay completes her work] You're done?

Lindsay

[kinda smug] Waiting on you.

Danny

[knocking as he walks into the lab] What do you got, Montana?

Lindsay

[at the microscope, annoyed] Danny, stop calling me that. It's Lindsay. Lindsay Monroe.

Danny

All right, all right, I'm just joking.

Lindsay

Well, it's not funny. Am I supposed to be the new girl and the butt of your jokes?

Danny

You upset that Mac dismissed you?

Lindsay

I can handle it.

Danny

No, it's not about that. He was looking out for you. You saw that place. It was a slaughterhouse in there.

Lindsay

What, you think I haven't seen blood like that before?

Danny

I dunno, to tell you the truth. Have you?

Lindsay

Yes...and a lot worse than that.

Detective Danny Messer

[as he, Lindsay, and Hawkes walks into the crime scene] Got your call. Team's all here.

Det. Stella Bonasera

[sighing] Great, thanks.

Detective Lindsay Monroe

[looking at the brandy glass full of pills on the table] What's with all the pills?

Det. Stella Bonasera

It's a pharm party.

Detective Lindsay Monroe

What's a pharm party?

Det. Stella Bonasera

Pharmaceuticals. Empty your parents medicine cabinet and pop until you drop. Rich kids idea of fun. At first glance I've got Lithium, serdalyne and fluoxatine. Most of these drugs don't even get you high.

Det. Mac Taylor

[walking into the room] Stella and I are going to run with this one. Danny check the service entry area there's an elevator there, secondary exit. Sheldon bag up these bottles get them over to Lindsay she'll be in trace.

Detective Lindsay Monroe

Sir, I've worked big crime scenes before. I've got two hands I'm ready to work.

Det. Mac Taylor

This is a high profile case Lindsay. I want you in the lab and I need your full attention. Remember anything we find here can take us to Darius. Be careful, be thorough.

Lindsay Monroe

[walks in to see some of team watching a porn-esque home movie] Footage from your 30th birthday, Messer?

Danny Messer

Walrus documentary, actually.

Sheldon Hawkes

It's Tara Stansfield, our vic from the park.

Lindsay Monroe

Who's the other walrus?

Hawkes

…Put time of death at least 8 hours ago.

Danny

Actually… [looks at his watch] 10 hours and 13 minutes.

Hawkes

It's impossible to be that exact on ToD.

Danny

You think so, Einstein?

Hawkes

Danny, I'm a certified pathologist. I know so.

Danny

Her coat is damp, I got caught in the rain last night. 20-minute torrential downpour: 8:45. Only the makeup on the right side of her face is streaked which means she was lying dead here when the rain began.

Hawkes

Showoff.

Danny Messer

You don't have to do that.

Lindsay Monroe

I was taught that, if you show a little respect, you might get more than you came for.

Danny

You be good cop, I'll be bad cop.

Lindsay

I guess you didn't grow up with hardwood floors.

Danny

No, actually, Bronx Marble.

Lindsay

What's that?

Danny

Linoleum.

Danny

I thought you were going to play good cop.

Lindsay

There's just something about that woman.

Danny

You make me nervous Mac, you got that look.

Mac

What look is that?

Danny

The one that says: "We're not quite finished, cancel your plans for the evening."

Never broke an arm off of your GI Joe?

Danny

Yeah, but I did it on purpose, casualty of war.

Hawkes

Not a very creative body-dump.

Danny

Does the job, right?

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

Apparently, he was some sort of...

Detective Danny Messer

Writer.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

Yeah.

Detective Danny Messer

[indicating photographs of the body taken under an ALS light] It was everywhere.

Danny Messer

Yeah, I think I saw this on an episode of The Flintstones.

Stella Bonasera

Cute.

Danny

Hey, crimestopper. Run to Ray's, grab me a slice, extra pepperoni, right? Bring it back. Just fold it up, slide it right through the hole.

That's no way to treat good pizza, Messer.

Danny

He's definitely in some kind of trouble.

Stella

Maybe you should cut him some slack. He is your brother.

Danny

If it's not trouble, he's probably looking for a handout.