CSI: Miami Season 1 quotes

You're not going to be able to prove a thing.

Horatio Caine

That is a very dumb thing to say to a CSI.

Horatio

It's not important what people say about us. It's only important what we know to be true about ourselves.

People get smothered by pillows...accidentally.

Yes, I pressed the pillow against his face. No, I didn't kill him. He did, however, have an orgasm.

Calleigh

[Flashing her badge] Is this hot enough for you or do you want to see my weapons permit?

Sir, can you read the yellow tape there? It says 'Crime Scene.'

Hey, I got a permit to be here.

Ohhhhh, you've got a permit!

Yeah, that's right. From Parks and Rec.

[Getting out cellphone] Well, I'm going to let you tell that to the parents of the girl who got murdered here last night.

Woah, wait a minute--

I'm going to let you tell them that we can't process this crime scene because you have a permit for a party.

You misunderstood me.

Then I'm going to arrest your cheap, tequila-pushing ass, and have you spend the night in lockup, with all the drunk-and-disorderlies, and you can smell the vomit of the fraternity boys.

You know what, man, maybe I should just ah, wait, until you're finished.

That's a capital idea, Ted.

Eric

Cute girls.

Calleigh

Yeah, they thought you were cute, too.

Eric

Yeah, What did they say?

Calleigh

They wanted to know if you had a younger brother.

Horatio

Jon, this guy stinks.

Well, maybe, Horatio - but the courts only care how the evidence smells.

The club was grandfathered in--built pre-code.

Horatio Caine

Yeah, I bet you those chained exit doors were grandfathered in, too, huh?

What'd you expect me to do? People were sneaking in.

Horatio Caine

And dying to get out.

Eric

Two disposable cameras. More pictures...

More porn!

Eric

I won't be taking this to one-hour photo!

Calleigh

Aren't you supposed to be off this case?

Alexx

Joan's got the report. Can't help it if I can read upside-down.

Alexx

You're not even going to ask me why she slipped Dennis eye drops?

Calleigh

I'm a lawyer's daughter. I don't ask a question I have the answer to.

Horatio

[To the tweakers.] Everybody take their left hand and stick it out, please. Left hand.

Tripp

[To one of the tweakers.] Your other left hand, Scruffy.

This ain't over, bitch. I'll be seeing you.

Calleigh

Well, you know what the thing is, Hank, it doesn't really matter if you do, because even if you get rid of me, someone will step in my place, and if you silence me, the evidence has its own voice and it keeps saying over and over, "you." You and your bullets. You know what, and by the way, where you're going, I think you're going to be the bitch.

Hagen

You know Hank Kerner, our fugitive.

Calleigh

Yeah. We've been through two hung juries together, it's not like we're picking out china.