CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

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Season 1
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Catherine: I ran priors. The guy's got an '88 conviction for sexual assaults.
Ecklie: (smugly) Boy, if I ever get in trouble, I know which CSI I'm going to.
Catherine: Let's watch the show.

Catherine: I think we'd better head over to the police station.
Nick: (who is suspected of murdering Kristy) DNA didn't pan out huh?
Catherine: Never have I seen such a clean match. Jack Willman killed her.
Nick: Thank you. (he hugs her)
Catherine: Hey, I'm just doing my job. Besides if they'd sent you to jail I'd get stuck with all your cases. (Nick laughs)

Catherine: I'm a forensic scientist.
April Lewis: Scientist... wow. You look so normal.
Catherine: Thanks.

Catherine: Never doubt and never look back. That's how I live my life.
Grissom: I admire that.

Catherine: No. No way, use your own hand.
Grissom: Come on, Catherine, my hand's too big.
Catherine: No!
Grissom: It's the only way we can print her. Her skin on your hand should fit like a leather glove.
Grissom: May I take your hand?

Catherine: Oh, before you came to Nevada you should have looked up the law. Mandatory drug testing wherever there's been an accident. Pee now, and don't tell me you're shy. (to an officer) Stay on him.
Sara: Mandatory drug testing?
Catherine: Yeah, well, there should be.
(Nick and Warrick are collecting dog scat)

Catherine: Oh, these fire guys really know how to trash a crime scene.
Grissom: That's what they do. Put wet stuff on the red stuff.
[Grissom studies the pieces under the scope. There's ticking sounds coming from around him. Suddenly, an alarm rings. Grissom looks up]

Catherine: Sheriff, you arrest Nick now you end his career.
Sheriff Mobley: So, what can you offer me?
Catherine: Nothing, except my gut and ten years of experience. He didn't do this.
Ecklie: Ignore the evidence against Stokes it looks like special favors for CSI.
Sheriff Mobley: Well, I can't have that. Not and keep my post.
Catherine: So give me twelve hours, access to the crime scene and evidence without filing papers on Nick.
Sheriff Mobley: Twelve hours. But then we arrest Mr. Stokes with all the attendant documentation.
(Jack sits at the table in the room. In the observation room, Catherine and Ecklie watch)

Catherine: So you did the tox screen on my carny?
Greg: Roger that. You know, I have seen guys drink, like, five gallons of water to try and dilute their urine. It's the old straight flush. But all bad boy Sanders has to do is just test their specific gravity and-- blammo! -- I can still catch their toxic butts.
Catherine: Mm-hmm. So?
Greg: So your guy didn't do that.
Catherine: Great. What did he do? Try and mask it?
Greg: No.
Catherine: Oh, come on. That creep tested clean?
Greg: Yeah. For someone who's on the pill.

Catherine: So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Grissom: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.
Grissom: Hmm.
Catherine: Stars and trucks?

Catherine: So, what, this guy has some strange chemical in his mutated DNA?
Greg: Freaky, huh?
Catherine: Freakiest semen I've seen in a while.
Season 2

Catherine: The prisoner plea. Brass told me about the video.
Grissom: Yeah. If we take the case we have very little time to work it. The trial starts in three days.
Sara: How did he find you? 1-800 Grissom ...? (Nick laughs)
Catherine: Wait a minute. Ecklie was the CSI on that arson. I see a bad moon rising.
Warrick: Can a CSI take over another CSI's case?
Catherine: Only if they're of equal rank and they're looking for trouble.
Grissom: No trouble. We're both colleagues searching for the truth.

Catherine: The sperm from the condom was frozen at 10:15 am. It's all heads, no tails.
Grissom: I'm not quite up to speed about the preticulars of....
Catherine: It takes about 7 hours for bacteria to eat away at the tails, that places time of ejaculation at around 2am. But Kristy's death was at around 6am.
Grissom: Well, that suggests a lag between ejaculation and Kristy's murder. But that doesn't disprove Nick's presence at the time of the homocide.
Catherine: You could be a little more supportive.

Catherine: Well, according to her credit card records Portia Richmond hasn't spent a dime since she's been in the Mediterranean.
Sara: She's dead.
Catherine: Not necessarily. She may have been... swept off her feet.
Nick: Some guys still like to foot the bill.
Sara: Really? How would you know?
Nick: Hey, I only go dutch if girls ask the wrong question.
Catherine: What's that?
Nick: "What do you drive?"
Sara: It's a honest question.
Nick: No it's not. What it means is "how much do you make so you can take care of me".

Catherine: What do you got for me? I could use a rush.
Grissom: Well, this qualifies: 4-26. But I can't give you the case.
Catherine: Because?
Grissom: Conflict of interest. The alleged rape victim is an exotic dancer.
Catherine: And because I used to be one, I'll be biased?
Grissom: No. The suspect's your ex-husband. (beat) He's asking for you, but you can't take it. (Catherine stands up and looks at Grissom)
Catherine: Just let me do the pre-lim.
Grissom: All right. (he gives her the assignment sheet) Do what you can. But after the preliminary, you pass it off, okay? (Catherine doesn't say anything. She turns and leaves the room)