CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

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Brass: I think every new hire should experience an autopsy on their first night.

Brass: Oh, you're gonna love this. [opens bathroom door] Ring any bells? Rub-a-dub-dub, dead man in the tub.

Brass: Quincy wants to be alone.
Uniformed Cop: Why does he want to be alone?
Brass: He wants to get his mojo working.

Brass: So I bet you think I owe you one, huh?
Warrick: We work. We get paid. You don't owe me anything.
Brass:(smirks) Fine with me.

Brass: So, you planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?
Grissom: It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.
Brass: I thought your bugs never made mistakes.
Grissom: They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket or clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight---maybe tighter than I realized---which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects
Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Brass: Well, let me ask you this. You killed a pig just for this?
Grissom: This poor ham was already on its way to someone's Christmas dinner

Brass: There's been another fourth of July.

Brass: What's this? An anonymous package from county lockup? (Grissom starts opening the package) Yeah, well, hey, just a second. Wait a minute. Give an innocent bystander a chance to clear out, will you?
Grissom: What are you worried about?
Brass: One minute, I'm eating tomato salad. The next ... I'm gazpacho. (Grissom opens the package and finds a video tape inside) With any luck it'll be the next episode of G-String Divas.

Brass: Wouldn't a rabbit be easier?
Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.
Brass: Yeah, I've been saying that since I was a rookie. You're on your own, pal.

Catherine: [explaining the job to Holly, the new girl] We restore peace of mind. And when you're a victim, that's everything. Stick it out. At least until you solve your first. And after that, if you don't feel like King Kong on cocaine, then you can quit. But if you stay, with my right hand to God, you will never regret it.

Catherine: [To Grissom, who is staring in awe at a group of showgirls who pass by] Close your mouth.

Catherine: A guy cheats, but the wife commits murder. How come moms always end up the bad guy with you Freud types?

Catherine: Am I disturbing you?
Grissom: Yeah.
Catherine: Good. (Grissom looks up to see everyone standing there waiting for their assignments)

Catherine: Caught in the act.
Grissom: I think that was the point.
Catherine: Oh yeah.

Catherine: Hey, how's the body with the bugs?
Grissom: How do you know about that already? (he turns around and looks at Sara)
Sara: Hey, don't look at me.
Nick: We, uh, played a hunch; checked with homicide. You were late.

Catherine: Hey, Nick ... I'm sorry to hear about your friend.
Nick: Who told you?
Catherine': Word travels. It was the day shift coroner.
Nick: So people know I was with Kristy last night?
Catherine: (looks at Grissom with a questioning look) Not yet.
Nick: Maybe I should just go to Ecklie and tell him I was there.
Grissom: When you're a suspect and you're innocent, keep your mouth shut. I'll talk to Ecklie.
Catherine: Bad idea. You and Ecklie ... oil and water. Just let me get into it.