Nick Stokes quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Greg

Looks like our vic was in a goth band. You know, I used to be goth.

Nick

Mh-hmm.

Greg

Yeah, the goth-thing was just an act. Chicks dug it.

Nick

How does that work?

Greg

You act depressed to get chicks, you get depressed chicks.

Nick

[about Marlon West] He confessed. It was later thrown out on a technicality. We really didn't need it. The prosecution's case against Marlon was very strong.

Sara

Until Marlon's little sister Hannah got on the stand and confessed to the murder herself.

Catherine

Oh, yes, I remember this case. A high school senior at age 12.

Sara

She's a prodigy.

Nick

She's a pint-size Machiavelli. She manipulated events, fabricated evidence, and in the end...

Sara

She claimed that she did it because she loved Marlon. Some warped sense of justice. She graduated later that summer, became legally emancipated from her parents and went off to Harvard, pre-med.

Grissom

You keeping tabs on her?

Sara

Not recently. Look, accident or no accident, Marlon killed before. Hannah sunk this case, Marlon got a free pass, and now he's killed again.

Catherine

Well, we don't know that just yet. I mean, we don't have Marlon's DNA to compare with the semen that was found in the victim. All the old evidence was expunged with the verdict.

Sara

I want this case.

Grissom

The one that got away?

Sara

We're not supposed to let them get away, right?

I'm telling you, I didn't kill Kira. I've never lied to you. Not once. You just never believe me. When I'm guilty, you want me to be innocent. When I'm innocent, you want me to be guilty.

Nick

Hey, you know what, Marlon? You can save it, 'cause unlike most people, you're not going to get me to underestimate you. I already know you're every bit as smart as your sister, especially when it comes to creating confusion.

Greg

Disposing of animals like this is illegal. Whoever dumped the vic must have known about the site from dumping dogs.

Nick

Yup. It looks like he's moving up the food chain.

Nick

(after Grissom read Cody's poem) It's not Shakespeare.

Grissom

I'm actually a fan of cowboy poetry.

Nick

Are you really?

Grissom

Yeah, it's just a way of organizing your thoughts and feelings so that you can make sense of them.

Nick

Sounds like Cody was trying to make sense of his girl leaving him.

Grissom

(returning the poetry letter to Nick) Yeah well, poetry can help you with that, too.

Wendy

Hey buckaroos, have you seen Catherine? Because I just got the results from that semen stain on Cody Latshaw's jeans.

Nick

Come up with a match?

Wendy

I did. I had to run an Ouchterlony test on it.

Greg

So, not from a human donor?

Wendy

No, no, bovine. (Nick and Greg look appalled) Yeah. I took a psychobiology class once and we studied a very interesting case. Okay, there was a guy who lived on a farm, and literally the only way that this guy could get sexually satisfied was when he was with livestock. (Nick tries to interrupt)

Nick

Hey, that's okay, I'm good...

Wendy

(growing more enthusiastic as she continues) Well, you see, apparently the whole thing started one ngith because he was in the barn and it started snowing, he was stuck in there and couldn't make his way back to the farmhouse so he decided that he would try and stay warm... well, with a sheep. (Nick just looks at Wendy) But then the horses were jealous, so, you know... And I think there was a cow in there as well...

Greg

You know, I think we got the picture.

Nick

I wish I didn't.

Greg

Cowboys, cattle rustling, and now a shooting at the dance hall.

Nick

Welcome to the Wild West.

Nick

(about Cody) Well it's part of the tradition, you know. Solitary man out there trying to find himself.

Catherine

Yeah, but no man is an island. I mean, obviously, he had feelings for Nancy or he wouldn't have written her that poem.

Nick

Nancy? I don't know about that. Tiffany's the one that broke his heart.

Grissom

I don't think it's about either girl. (reading the poem) "I can't help now but wonder what your brown eyes were concealing." Did you read Tiffany's autopsy report?

Nick

Oh. Yeah, her eyes were blue.

Grissom

So were Nancy's.

Nick

Then who did he write the poem for?

Grissom

Wintwister. (Catherine and Nick can't believe it)

Catherine

The bull?

Grissom

I think that's why he went back to the arena that night. Wordsworth once wrote, "Through love we feel we are greater than we know." My guess is, riding that bull, Cody felt like a greater man.

Nick

[to Warrick] Hey.

Warrick

Oh, man, you look beat up.

Nick

I feel beat up.

Warrick

Why don't you ... uh ... take a break. I got this.

Nick

No, no, I'm cool. I can push through it.

Warrick

Yeah. You're ... uh ... breaking the lab's budget for rubber gloves here, dawg. Listen, get some rest, man. You'd do the same for me.

Hodges

(after Nick coughs) You know, in China people wear masks when they're sick. It's considered impolite to infect your co-workers.

Nick

Maybe you should go work in China.

Hodges

Maybe you should wear a mask.

Brass

The name on the lease is Kellen Tyford.

Nick

Drops?

Grissom

The nightclub promoter?

Brass

Yeah, and get this, he leases the upstairs apartment too.

Grissom

That's a lotta apartments for a guy who's getting free room and board.

Drops

(about Dana) This is the type of girl that you have to find in person.

Nick

Well, give us some addresses.

Drops

What are you gonna do? Mapquest her ass? 'Cause that's not gonna work. There's only one way to find this girl. Let me out. (Brass laughs) No, for real, I mean. I can have her for you today.

Nick

You think that we can just pop you outta jail?

Drops

Yeah. Like 48 hours. You know the flick, they bust Eddie outta jail, get the bad guy, everything's cool.

Nick

You think this is a joke, man? Dead bodies are piling up around your new family, now that would worry me.

Drops

(while being released from jail for 48 hours to help them, sees Brass and Nick) Well, look who it is: Mom and Dad. (they put cuffs and an ankle bracelet on him) One big happy family, huh?

Brass

Yes. Get in the car. (Drops does and Brass shuts the door) I got a feeling I'm gonna regret this.

Nick

I already do.

Nick

And what makes you so sure that Dana would go to this guy Bruce anyway?

Drops

If Dana's on the run, she's gonna need some on the run money, let's say Zigzag, handles certain aspects of my finances.

Brass

What? Like laundering the street fig?

Drops

No, actually my 401k. Why you always tossin' the pimp card at me, man? I guess to you a black man in a suit is a pimp.

Brass

Aw, did I hurt your feelings?

Nick

So, who else would Dana go for help? Zigzag doesn't seem to be like a very big talker.

Drops

You're a lot funnier than I remember, crime lab, you been goin' to cop-comedy school?