Grayson and I are like pools - we're still just sticking our toes in each other. Grossest thing I ever said.
I'm gonna go throw up.
S1 E23Breakdown
S1 E24Finding Out
[after sex] That was amazing.
Makes me almost not mind sleeping here. [Grayson pulls a cord and balloons rain down as the Grayson remix plays]
Happy one millionth customer!!
You think you're funny, don't you? I'm never sleeping here again!
Oh, well then I better get my money's worth! [Puts a wool hat on]
Oh, God.
Huh, dawg? I look pretty cool, right, dawg? Oh, you can frown all you want, but you're not going anywhere. I hid all your clothes.
Oh God. [Kisses him]
[Popping a balloon] Happy one millionth customer!
Why does it always have to be a plan?
These things work better when you have a plan. Vacations, big talks, murders... I don't know why I said murders. It's not like I daydream about getting away with one. THAT would be weird.
S2 E1All Mixed Up
[Angry] You based all of my treatment on your dog?
GGlenn
Ajam. [Jules is stressed]
GGlenn
Ok, I'm just gonna light a little sage in here 'cause, you know? It's very calming so let's all just [whistles]
GGlenn
calm.
It's just... I can't believe you lied to me.
GGlenn
[Pointing at Jules, slightly angry] Hey, hey, hey, Jules! And yes, this is my stern voice.
[Slighty intimidated] I don't like your stern voice.
GGlenn
All I ever do was used my personal experience [starts coughing because of the sage]
GGlenn
to help you. All right? I've never lied on this office. Ever. This is a sacred circle [keeps coughing]
GGlenn
of truth.
Is it, Glenn?
GGlenn
What?
Tell me. After we left, did you leave a note on that car?
GGlenn
Yes, I did.
What did it say?
GGlenn
It said: Suck it! [Jules nods, having proved her point]
GGlenn
I'm not perfect, Jules.
[Ironic] Really?
GGlenn
That's how we connect. We are kindred spirits. Last time you said that you felt guilty because you hang up on your dad. Last Christimas, I set my car on fire so my mother would think I was dead.
Those aren't the same!
GGlenn
Bah, they're so close. But you know what? I'm done playing with your judgement games. I'm not gonna play. You're gonna have to find another therapist.
YOU are firing ME?
GGlenn
Here's your information.
S2 E2Let Yourself Go
Oh! Stan walked!
Now is not the time.
Right.
I've been afraid of this moment for so long, but I know I raised such a great kid
We raised a good kid.
You're kinda smothering me.
With love. It doesn't count.
Travis! You're mine today.
This can't be good.
I'm not getting involved.
You so are. You ate his lasagna last night.
I ate dead baby lasagna?
Okay I'm lost inside my brain again...
Oh jelly bean.
Drinking games! I love drinking games!
S2 E3Making Some Noise
If we're gonna be sneaking around the neighborhood at night should my husband be dressed like a cat burglar ?
This is our cul-de-sac damn it. Tonight we take back the sack! First order of business we need a new slogan.
I love my security system. It's like I live in an antique store.
Hey hot flash, did you do that? (It says FAKE on her purse)
Yes, I did. See the reason why I buy expensive things is to belittle people who cant afford them.
S2 E4The Damage You're Done
Are you Cuban today?
I will be if you like it.
Yeah I like it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cougar Town pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.