A character in Cougar Town
Played by Josh Hopkins
Cougar Town · 82 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Cougar Town: in 23 of its 82 quotes
Most scenes with: Jules Kiki Cobb (14), Andy Torres (7), Bobby Cobb (6)
GraysonWhy does it always have to be a plan?
These things work better when you have a plan. Vacations, big talks, murders... I don't know why I said murders. It's not like I daydream about getting away with one. THAT would be weird.
GraysonI'm not getting involved.
You so are. You ate his lasagna last night.
GraysonI ate dead baby lasagna?
You guys know each other?
GraysonYeah yeah we play roller hockey together. How do you two know each other.
Grayson there's a thousand different ways that people know each other, but for some reason I can't think of any right now.
GraysonYou two slept together?
No...
Yes.
Plus, Travis scared me. He said you always embarrass him when he brings a girl home.
Travis, I said I would never do that again.
(Popping up from behind a chair) Hi Kristen!
What was that?
What was what?
It's starting again.
Grayson(Popping out from behind the cabinet) Hi, Kristen!
(Popping out from behind the couch) Hi, Kristen!
(Popping out from inside a chair) Hi, Kristen!
Hey, Kristen.
Okay everybody, big finish.
Hi, Kristen!
(Singing) It's Kirsten, but you can call me whatever... I hate that I'm singing
She's like a nervous little bird!
You guys can understand what I say, right?
It should be me. I probably should've brought this up to you in our first through sixth year of marriage, but sometimes when you talk too quickly or too quietly, or when you talk at all-
Get to it! Bobby, we can't understand one word you say! Or as you would put it, we can't urbadurn your frazzle dazzle! (Everyone but Bobby laughs)
Ya'll think you're funnier than a barrel full of Foxworthys. But you're not. (Leaves)
Does anyone know what he just said?
GraysonNope.
Not a clue.
Frazzle dazzle.
GraysonCan I give you some constructive criticism?
As long as you start with something nice!
GraysonYou are a great gal. Smart, funny...
I can swim real fast!
GraysonSo fast! But your hugs are too intense. Now I love 'em, not really, but for people you're not sleeping with, you can't give them that stab-me-with-your-pelvic-bone hug.
But people love them!
Grayson: But people don't. Just dial it back a little. Say I'm a grocery boy who just carried your bags to your car. How do you thank me? (Jules hugs him) Whoa! See, that's a little much.
Jules;: Okay. (They start to kiss, Travis and Kevin come in)
Aww!
Happy Thanksgiving break, sweetie! (Hugs him) Great that you could join us, Kevin! (Gives Kevin a big hug)
GraysonJules...
I can't help it. It's like hugging a sofa!
So you just brought me out here to make fun of me?
GraysonNo. I don't like sharing how I feel, especially in front of the peanut gallery. (Laurie, Ellie, and Travis wave) But I know it matters to you, so I invited them all here so they could hear me say this. You're an idiot. You're worried we're not alike enough to be together? One of my favorite things about us is how different we are. It's the couples that really work. (Points to Andy and Ellie) His favorite movie is Die Hard and she... is a horrible person.
It's Love, Actually, actually. Ooh, sequel!
GraysonI've been scared to say this, but all those ways that you're different from me, that's why I love you. (Laurie and Ellie gasp) I love you, Jules. (They kiss)
GraysonIt's a pet cemetery. There's the dove, the squirrel, and for the lizard, I just buried your whole shoe, it was really on there.
This is getting kind of creepy.
Like serial killer creepy.
Are we at a dead lizard's funeral in your mom's yard?
You did this to us.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cougar Town pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
