Ward Fowler quotes from Columbo

Ward Fowler

You think she was murdered, don't you?

Lt. Columbo

I, I beg your pardon, sir?

Ward Fowler

You heard me.

Lt. Columbo

Yes sir, I did. Uh, I mean, yes, I do think it was a premeditated killing, sir. I mean I think the robbery was staged to cover up the murder. Um, how did you know, sir?

Ward Fowler

Why else would you be here?

Lt. Columbo

It could be just a routine check, sir.

Ward Fowler

No, Lieutenant. They don't send a police detective stumbling around, asking silly, fake, innocent questions on a routine check. I know that from my show.

Lt. Columbo

Silly, fake, innocent questions, like what, sir?

Lt. Columbo

The parka and the ski mask, that's where they both came from.

Ward Fowler

And the gun?

Lt. Columbo

Oh, come on, sir. You're putting me on. You know that guns don't come from the wardrobe department.

Ward Fowler

Of course. How stupid of me.

Lt. Columbo

No, that's the prop department, sir, not the wardrobe department. How does a smart man like Lt. Lucerne make a mistake like that?

Ward Fowler

Because you're not talking to Lt. Lucerne at the moment, are you, Lieutenant? You're talking to Ward Fowler.

Lt. Columbo

Well, what's the difference, sir?

Ward Fowler

The difference is Ward Fowler is under suspicion of murder and a man under that kind of threat is apt to make mistakes, he's apt to get rattled.

Lt. Columbo

Well, whoever said anything about Ward Fowler being under suspicion of murder?

Ward Fowler

Lt. Lucerne did.

Lt. Columbo

He did?

Lt. Columbo

There were no prints on the gun because you wiped the gun clean, sir. But there is a reason the lab report took so long. You remembered to clean the gun, but you didn't remember to do the same thing with the bullets.

Ward Fowler

Damn! I had to forget something. That's always how the third act ends.