Oliver Brandt quotes from Columbo

Lt. Columbo

You know, sir, it's a funny thing. All my life, I kept running into smart people. I don't just mean smart like you and the people in this house. You know what I mean. In school, there were lot's of smarter kids, and when I first joined the force, sir, they had some very clever people there... and I could tell right away it wasn't going to be easy making detective as long as they were around. But I figured... if I worked harder than they did, put in more time, read the books, kept my eyes open maybe I could make it happen. And I did. And I really love my work, sir.

Oliver Brandt

I can tell you do.

Oliver Brandt

My problem is just the opposite. Born smart... as they say. A blessing you'd think. I had no real childhood, I was an imitation adult, because that's what was expected of me. Most people don't like smart people. Most children despise smart children. So, early on, I had to hide my so-called gift... painful lonely years.

Lt. Columbo

You know, sir, I never though of that.

Lt. Columbo

When the squib goes off, it produces vibrations and that knocks the book down. That Danziger is a genius!

Oliver Brandt

Vibrations! That nitwit! The man who conceived all this, you make him out to be a bungling ass! No! This is what he would have done! This! There! [laughing] There! [continues laughing then pauses] Oh my... Oh my.