Jerry quotes from Code Monkeys

Dave

Now this first game is called Pizza Man... oh, SO TASTY...

Jerry

Dave, you promised.

Dave

Well, if that didn't get them, this will. Moon Tennis, anyone? You get to play tennis on the fucking moon! Can you imagine that? Well, I did, because that's my job! What about Bacon Avenger? Don't break the eggs!

Jerry

Hey, little man. I hear you. But you're the lead game tester, and that's a mighty responsibility.

Benny

Hit the bricks. I don't listen to guy that gets less ass than me.

Jerry

[starts chasing Benny] Listen, you little shit, you get over here!

Benny

[faking] Help, help! Jerry and Dave tried to touch me where I pee!

Dave

Oh, crap.

Jerry

What?! No, NO! My--my hands are up in the air! I didn't touch anyone's wee-wee!

Jerry

Dave, girlfriends let you see their boobs for free, I've been told.

Dave

Dude, that's the oldest lie in the book!

Jerry

There's a book?

Dave

Yes, Jerry, it's called the Book of Lies! The first chapter is, if you get a girlfriend, you get to see her boobs for free.

Jerry

Wait, you don't?

Dave

Hell no, dude! Girlfriends make you pay an emotional cost! You may not have to fork over money, but you gotta ask them questions like, "Um, how are you?" and "What are you doing?" and "Does this hurt?" and "Did you forget to take your pill?" and stuff like that. It's horrible!

Jerry

I don't know, Dave, I think it sounds kinda nice.

Jerry

Hi honey, I'm home!

Mary

Where's my dinner, bitch?

Jerry

Ow! Ow, stop it! Stop it, you're a monster!

Jerry

Oh man, even my dreams hate me.

Dave

Of course they do! You're a dick and you should start sucking cock. On the other hand, I am a problem solver, and I'm gonna solve this problem so I never have to pay for boobs again. But I'm gonna need some help!