Jerry and Dave in “Dave Gets Boobs”

Dave, girlfriends let you see their boobs for free, I've been told.

Dude, that's the oldest lie in the book!

There's a book?

Yes, Jerry, it's called the Book of Lies! The first chapter is, if you get a girlfriend, you get to see her boobs for free.

Wait, you don't?

Hell no, dude! Girlfriends make you pay an emotional cost! You may not have to fork over money, but you gotta ask them questions like, "Um, how are you?" and "What are you doing?" and "Does this hurt?" and "Did you forget to take your pill?" and stuff like that. It's horrible!

I don't know, Dave, I think it sounds kinda nice.