Cheers quotes
515 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2
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Season 5
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Season 11
Nick: [about Carla being pregnant] Hey you got a guy, Carla?
Carla: No, I swallowed a beach ball. For your information I am not seeing anybody. But the guy who knocked me up and ran this time is ten times classier than you.
Carla: No, I swallowed a beach ball. For your information I am not seeing anybody. But the guy who knocked me up and ran this time is ten times classier than you.
Nick: I need a simple favor.
Carla: Unless it's setting your eyebrows on fire, forget it.
Carla: Unless it's setting your eyebrows on fire, forget it.
Norm: [Commenting on Sam and Diane's former relationship] Hey would you two mind if we move on to something a little more interesting than your star-crossed romance?
Carla: Come on, Norm. What could be more interesting than another gripping episode of "Young and the Chestless"?
Carla: Come on, Norm. What could be more interesting than another gripping episode of "Young and the Chestless"?
Norm: Hey, hey, hey... stop laughing at my pal here, huh? This guy had the only dream more ridiculous than mine.
Cliff: Oh, yeah?
Norm: A lot more, I might add.
Cliff: Is that right, Marco Rollo?
Norm: Hey, I've gotta buy a drink for The Great Cliffini.
Cliff: Oh, next round is on me for Ferdinand Ma-jelly-belly!
Norm: Listen to The Flying Rear-end-a!
Cliff: Oh, is that right, Christopher Colum-butt?
Cliff: Oh, yeah?
Norm: A lot more, I might add.
Cliff: Is that right, Marco Rollo?
Norm: Hey, I've gotta buy a drink for The Great Cliffini.
Cliff: Oh, next round is on me for Ferdinand Ma-jelly-belly!
Norm: Listen to The Flying Rear-end-a!
Cliff: Oh, is that right, Christopher Colum-butt?
Norm: Yeah, Cliffy had himself the "Ton O' T-Bone". For less than four bucks you get 24 ounces of USDA Choice "bef".
Cliff: Bef? No, you mean beef.
Norm: Beef? Don't be ridiculous, Cliffy. That stuff is "bef". You see it's a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic � what � meat-like substance.
Cliff: Ah, no.
Norm: What do you expect for four bucks? You see me complainin' about the "loobster"?
Cliff: Bef? No, you mean beef.
Norm: Beef? Don't be ridiculous, Cliffy. That stuff is "bef". You see it's a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic � what � meat-like substance.
Cliff: Ah, no.
Norm: What do you expect for four bucks? You see me complainin' about the "loobster"?
Sam: Cliff, you look terrible. Was today Sears catalogue day?
Cliff: And that's not all, Spiegel's catalogue came out the same day. Yeah, it's a phenomenon that happens once every 27 years when both marketing strategies are in the same equinox.
Cliff: And that's not all, Spiegel's catalogue came out the same day. Yeah, it's a phenomenon that happens once every 27 years when both marketing strategies are in the same equinox.
Sam: Coach, I'm gonna be blunt with you. Her friend's cute and all that, but she doesn't have what I'm lookin' for in a woman.
Diane: What's that? Break-away clothes?
Diane: What's that? Break-away clothes?
Sam: I could get out of prison after twelve years, serve on an all male ship for another four and be dropped on a desert island for another three eating nothing but raw oysters day after day and if one day Diane walked out of the surf naked, all I'd want from her is the hockey scores.
Diane: And you wouldn't even get that!
Diane: And you wouldn't even get that!
Sam: I didn't start drinking when she left, I was celebrating. [to Diane] Celebrating the day I got rid of you. You hear that everybody?
Everyone: Celebrating.
Diane: Well let me tell you something, Sam. I have two birthdays now. One to mark the occasion when my mother bore me and one to commemorate my glorious rebirth when I walked out of here.
Sam: Just one more time: you did not walk out of here. I kicked you out and I would do it again except that no man deserves that much pleasure in one's life.
Everyone: Celebrating.
Diane: Well let me tell you something, Sam. I have two birthdays now. One to mark the occasion when my mother bore me and one to commemorate my glorious rebirth when I walked out of here.
Sam: Just one more time: you did not walk out of here. I kicked you out and I would do it again except that no man deserves that much pleasure in one's life.
Sam: I just wonder if this whole so-called allergy thing might not be psychosomatic.
Diane: Sam, I'm very impressed. That's a complex psychological concept coming from a man who who has to write "L" and "R" on the bottom of his shoes.
Diane: Sam, I'm very impressed. That's a complex psychological concept coming from a man who who has to write "L" and "R" on the bottom of his shoes.
Sam: Is there anything I can do?
Diane: No. This problem is strictly between myself and Frasier Crane. Suffice to say, he insists on making mountains out of molehills.
Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?
Diane: No. This problem is strictly between myself and Frasier Crane. Suffice to say, he insists on making mountains out of molehills.
Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?
Sam: Isn't it interesting that I automatically spring to mind?
Diane: No. You automatically spring to mind whenever I hear something stupid.
Diane: No. You automatically spring to mind whenever I hear something stupid.
Sam: Listen to me. I'm sincere about this, I like you two and I want to see you both happy.
Diane: Thank you, Sam.
Sam: After all just because the two of us didn't travel well-
Diane: When did we ever travel?
Sam: Are you kidding me? We went through hell together.
Diane: Well it helps that you knew the language.
Diane: Thank you, Sam.
Sam: After all just because the two of us didn't travel well-
Diane: When did we ever travel?
Sam: Are you kidding me? We went through hell together.
Diane: Well it helps that you knew the language.
Sam: There are two mysteries going on here. First, Carla's been seeing this very classy guy. Second, your pal has been avoiding you two like the plague. Of course that's the lesser of the two mysteries.
Frasier: Sam, you're talking about one of the most distinguished and accomplished men of letters I know dating a common barmaid.
Sam: You're dating a barmaid.
Frasier: Well she wasn't a barmaid when I met her.
Sam: Oh that's right. She was a lunatic.
Frasier: Sam, you're talking about one of the most distinguished and accomplished men of letters I know dating a common barmaid.
Sam: You're dating a barmaid.
Frasier: Well she wasn't a barmaid when I met her.
Sam: Oh that's right. She was a lunatic.
Sam: Well do you think I should go through with this?
Norm: I think that you and Diane are lovely special people, Sam. Alone. Separately. You know individual. Together frankly, you stink. To the casual observer you're running off to Italy would have to seem stupid beyond reason.
Sam: I'm goin'.
Norm: That's what I'd do.
Season 4
Norm: I think that you and Diane are lovely special people, Sam. Alone. Separately. You know individual. Together frankly, you stink. To the casual observer you're running off to Italy would have to seem stupid beyond reason.
Sam: I'm goin'.
Norm: That's what I'd do.
Season 4