Paige Matthews quotes from Charmed

Paige

Speaking of those problems, I think I have figured out a way to get the press off of our broomsticks... (Three rats crawl next to a wall behind Piper) Holy- We have rats!

Piper

Yeah, they're everywhere, get used to it. So what's this big solution?

Paige

Where did they come from?

Piper

The San Francisco Chronicle, uhm... Daily News and the Inquirer. I found them nosing around the garbage.

Paige

So you turn them into rodents?

Piper

Well, I could've blown them up.

Phoebe

He's got case files for us.

Paige

What are we, Charlie's Witches? We don't work for him.

Phoebe

Apparently he seems to think that. Especially reminding me over and over, he bailed us out of our little jam.

Piper

That's blackmail.

Phoebe

No, that's your taxpayers dollars at work.

Piper

See, this is what a Krychek demon is supposed to look like.

Phoebe

Well, maybe the one you guys were following was just a bigger one.

Piper

No, this wasn't just bigger. This was like going from you to Schwarzenegger.

Phoebe

That is so weird.

Piper

Yes, scary weird.

Piper

Oh, good, you found the skis!

Leo

Yeah! But, they're kinda old, though. Maybe we should just rent new ones, you know? (He drops the skiing boots) Ah! Damnit!

Piper

Watch your language. Wyatt is picking up everything we say lately.

Phoebe

I'm gonna get some more coffee. You guys want anything?

Piper

No, thanks.

Piper

You okay with those?

Leo

Yes, I got there. Listen, why don't we finish packing? I wanna miss traffic, okay?

Piper

I know, I'm gonna. I just, I need to talk to agent Murphy first about this demon of his.

Leo

Piper...

Piper

What? I- I can't just let it go. Can I?

Leo

Yes, you can. C'mon, when are we the last time had weekend together, alone?

Piper

I know, and I promise, nothing is gonna stop that from happening, I promise, but I… just kind need to talk him first.

Leo

Well, why… can't Billie talk to him?

Paige

You guys, I can not find Billie anywhere. She's not answering. Maybe we could just get her pager?

Piper

Well, just keep trying.

Paige

Why? What'd he want?

Phoebe

Uh, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he wants, you.

Paige

That's ridiculous.

Piper

Why? Don't you like him?

Paige

No!

Phoebe

Really? Then why is your face turning red?

Paige

It's not turning red, I probably just put too much blush on.

Leo

It's… kinda turning red.

Piper

Ok, why don't you and me (points to Phoebe) go see what the government's not telling us? And I'll be right back, I swear. (She kisses Leo, then heads for the door with Phoebe.)

Paige

Hey, don't you have a lunch date?

Phoebe

I canceled. I'm taking a little hiatus.

Paige

From lunch?

Phoebe

From men.

Paige

Okay. Come on, Billie. (Calls Billie again.)

Paige

Billie, finally.

Henry

Hi, how are you doing?

Paige

Henry, what are you doing here?

Henry

I need your help.

Paige

Did I miss something?

Phoebe

Nothing.

Piper

A lot. See ya!

Phoebe

Leave Leo alone!

Piper

He's my husband! Why did you do that for?

Paige

I just felt like it!

Leo

All right, stop it. You guys are gonna kill each other. How did this happen?

Phoebe

We made it happen.

Piper

All right, we have work to do.

Paige

If you guys will excuse me, I'm gonna go check on little Ramon.

Piper

Don't you mean Henry?

Paige

No, I mean Ramon.

Phoebe

Kiss him for me.

Paige

Henry?

Phoebe

No, Ramon!

Paige

Oh, okay.

Phoebe

Anyone down here? Big box on high heels. I need some help.

Piper

Just a sec. Ah, sorry, do you need help?

Phoebe

Well, I did. Now I just need a sec.

Piper

Okay, well since I have you...

Phoebe

Um...Piper, I'm kinda running late. I have to go sign the loan docs and I wanna stop by the condo before work...

Piper

Loan docs? Wow, I didn't realize this was moving along so quickly. But, you know I've been so focused on getting Leo back.

Phoebe

Yeah, I know.

Piper

But, I have made a list of seers and oracles and anyone that might be able to foresee who we have to fight in order to get him back.

Phoebe

Great, ok. Call me if you find anything.

Piper

Well, I was thinking...I was thinking that maybe you should take my Jeep, because in my car hold so much more than yours does, doesn't it?

Phoebe

Right. Piper, are you sure you're okay with me moving out?

Piper

Yeah, of course I am. I mean we can't be roommates forever, that's just weird.

Phoebe

Ok, well. Here I go.

Paige

Oh, what I am gonna do? I'm supposed to have a date with Henry tonight and he is in the worst mood. He's lost his car keys, he's lost his wallet, he locked himself out of his apartment, and I need him to be in a good mood for that I wanna do tonight.

Piper

We aren't talking about sex, are we?

Paige

No, we aren't talking about sex. I finally screwed up my courage to tell him...you know that I'm witch and I feel like I have to do it tonight otherwise I might wuss out, and I really need to know that he is okay with who I am. You do this a lot, Pheebs, got any advice?

Phoebe

Well, hope he doesn't faint. No, I don't know, I mean, I haven't any success with these things. Just ease into it, try to lessen the blow.

Paige

Okay, how?

Phoebe

Maybe call some reinforcements, maybe ask some of your magical friends to help him to have a better day so you can have a better night?

Paige

Like fairies, or something?

Phoebe

Sure, fairies, leprechauns, whatever. Good luck.

Piper

Uh, Pheebs?

Phoebe

Uh-huh?

Piper

Oh, I was actually hoping that you can help me to let down the list a little bit before you go.

Phoebe

Oh, Piper, I'm really late.

Piper

Oh, okay. Well you know, it's just Leo. Really come on, all I need is one little premonition. How hard can it be?

Phoebe

Ok. (She put the box down.)

Paige

Hey, Henry.

Henry

Yeah?

Paige

Guess what?

Henry

What?

Paige

I like you.

Henry

Hey, Paige. Guess what?

Paige

What?

Henry

I like you, too. (they kiss)

Henry

I'm telling you, this day is getting more better than he started.

Paige

Yeah, so far.

Henry

Why you keep say things like that? What do you have to tell me? Come on, it can't be that bad. Rooftop picnic, starlight, candle. Wait, wait I wanna guess first. Hold on. Let me see. You used to be a man before. No, that's not true, right? Good. Come on. Tell me. What is it?

Paige

I don't think you're gonna like it.

Henry

Try me.

Paige

Have you ever wondered about the kind of...strange things that happen...with me and kind of since you've known me? Like, why was I there, trying to help your parolee? How I found that baby's father so quickly?

Henry

How'd you get that guy to tell the truth?

Paige

How'd you get shot and miraculously survive? And, even little things like today. Finding your keys, and your wallet, and then there's that winning the 10,000 dollars thing which you probably give to charity, because, you know that's...

Henry

Okay, okay...What are you trying to tell me Paige?

Paige

Do you believe in magic?

Henry

I...I don't know...I don't think about it much. Why?

Paige

I think it's time you did. (she waves her hand) Lights. I'm doing that right now.

Henry

How?

Paige

I'm a witch. I have powers. Uh, I can make these kind of things happen. I am not a kind of witch that rides around on broomsticks, or the hat, or the little black cat. That sort of thing. I use my powers for good. I help people. And this is not going well, and I can see...how completely scared off you are from me. The door is right there and that won't hurt my feelings.

Henry

Paige?

Paige

What?

Henry

Look at me. I am not afraid.

Phoebe

That is so sweet.

But you are not half-whitelighter, which is requisite for my future mate, so sorry to disappoint you. But you on the other hand are...

Paige

Did you just say future mate?

No! No, that was..It came out wrong apologies.

Paige

Ok, here's the deal, we're actually super super busy right now, so it'll be fabulous if you could just orb yourself off now.

Immortal? Very impressive.

Paige

(in English voice) No....Not immortal...(Normal voice) A mortal! As in non-magical!

Piper

Did she say what she wanted?

Paige

She just said she wanted to speak to us.

Piper

This could very well be a trap. Did she call Phoebe?

Phoebe

Yeah, she did.

Piper

Well, at the risk of your wrath, I'm going to tell you that this could be a very bad idea.

Phoebe

I know, but please, let's just listen to what Billie has to say.

Piper

I just spoke with an Elder, and she confirmed that those two could be very big trouble for us.

Paige

What?

Piper

She wasn't 100% sure, but it is a possibility, which means sooner or later ...

Piper

You know, considering you want to kill us, maybe you should use the front door.

Billie

I don't want to kill you Piper, I just want to find out the truth.

Phoebe

Well, how do we help you find that?

Billie

Like this.

Billie

You promise not to hurt them, right?

Christy

Not until you see what you need to see.

Paige

Watch it, guys! Wait for me. This thing's heavy.

Piper

We gotta keep moving.

Phoebe

I think we're going in circles because this looks very familiar.

Paige

Yeah, it looks the same to me too.

Piper

Well, of course it does. It's the Underworld. It all looks the same. How many looks can they come up with?

Paige

No wonder they wanna take over our world. This is ugly.

Phoebe

They've already taken our world. That's why we're stuck down here. We gotta do something. Come on!

Piper

I'm open to suggestions.

Phoebe

Maybe we should talk to the leprechauns again?

Paige

No, I've had it with the leprechauns.

Piper

I think they made their allegiance pretty clear.

Phoebe

They wouldn't even give us a chance to explain.

Piper

I don't think it would have mattered. Billie and Christy have everybody thinking that we're the threat.

Phoebe

We gotta get out of here.

Phoebe

Okay, do it.

Piper

Okay, we can't keep playing Survivor: Underworld much longer.

Phoebe

What are we gonna do?

Paige

How about we just orb home?

Phoebe

No, it's too risky. Billie and Christy will be waiting for us. And their new friends.

Paige

Okay, well, we gotta do something fast because word is gonna get around that we're down here.

Piper

She's right. We can't fend off demons forever. We need a plan.

Paige

Maybe just give up?

Piper

What?

Paige

What? It's just that every time we go out and try to get a life, meet people, do new things, we seem to wind up back in these kind of lame positions. Giving up is not such a bad idea, is it?

Phoebe

No, I'm not giving up. Not now and not after I finally found someone I could see having a future with. Look, if we want our lives and Leo back... we're gonna have to fight.

Paige

Fight Billie and Christy.

Phoebe

Exactly.

Piper

Are you sure you can do it? I mean, really do it? Can you kill them?

Phoebe

Yeah, they're no different than demons now. Not after all of this.

Piper

Look out!

Paige

Energy ball!

Piper

Go, go, go!

Billie

We've been waiting for you.

Paige

Well, your wait is over.

Piper

No potions, huh?

Christy

We don't need any potions.

Phoebe

Funny. Neither do we.

Piper

I know we should never trusted you.

Christy

You should have followed your instincts.

Piper

Next time.

Billie

There won't BE a next time.