Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Paige

And you, you're not La Femme Nikita, you're a Charmed One. Yeah, you don't mind kicking ass when you have to, but otherwise you'd rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies, or knitting booties.

Piper

Knitting booties? Clearly you don't know me at all.

Piper

So you say the club is still successful in this... 'alleged' other reality of yours?

Paige

It's not alleged, it's real. And it's... really good.

Piper

Oh yeah, am I a millionaire?

Paige

(smiles a bit) No, not that good.

Piper

Well, how pregnant am I, exactly?

Paige

Phoebe and I are practising to be your midwives as we speak. We're preparing for the big home birth!

Piper

Home birth, you're nuts, I'd never agree to that, I - I wouldn't give birth unless it was in a hospital-!

Paige

Yeah, yeah, you keep saying the same thing in any reality. Hey, who else but a sister would know that?

Piper

(looking tearful] We must be pretty close then, the three of us.

Paige

(she nods, also fighting back tears)

Piper

Like Phoebe and I were with Prue...

Paige

Yep, close enough to have avenged Prue's death together.

Piper

Did you guys try to vanquish Belthazor ever?

Paige

No, but you and Prue almost tried! You guys had a vanquishing potion, right?

Piper

How do you know that...?

Paige

Book of Shadows. Also says that it needs a piece of his flesh to make it work.

Leo

That's right, it did.

Piper

(she looks at him, then at Paige) All right then. (takes out a dagger) Let's go hunting.

Paige

Anything?

Piper

No.

Paige

Okay, come on.

Phoebe

(running down the stairs) What are you guys doing here? You have to leave now.

Piper

Where's Cole?

Cole

(surprising them) Right here. (he throws an energy ball, sending them crashing against the wall)

Phoebe

No! (she kneels by them while Cole telekinetically draws the vanquishing potion into his hand) What did you do to them?

Cole

Exactly what they were gonna do to me. (he and Paige glare at each other)

Paige

(taking Piper's wrist) She's still alive. Grab her hand.

Phoebe

(bewildered) What?

Cole

I don't know how you got here, Paige. But if it's any consolation, I know exactly where I'm gonna bury you. Right next to yourself.

Paige

Grab her hand. (she glares at him and then looks at Phoebe)

Phoebe

(standing up) The Power of Three.

Paige

(also standing) That's us. Potion! (her powers activated, the potion orbs from Cole's hand to hers) I do hate long goodbyes.

Phoebe

No! (she takes the potion out of Paige's hand)

Paige

Phoebe, are you crazy? Throw it before he shimmers out!

Cole

She's not gonna throw it. Are you?

Paige

Throw the potion.

Cole

We've been through so much together, haven't we? Our love's so strong, nothing can destroy it, not even this. We're meant to be together.

Phoebe

I don't think so.

Cole

(groans) (screaming) No!

Paige

Oh, please, God, tell me I'm back.

Piper

Oh, there you are. Where'd you orb to?

Paige

Piper. Are you pregnant?

Piper

Yeah. Where you been?

Paige

Oh! (chuckles)

Piper

(grunting) Where have you been? What happened to your clothes?

Paige

Time must have continues moving on in this reality, too.

Piper

I beg your pardon?

Paige

I'm back!

Phoebe

Hey. What's going on?

Piper

She's very happy.

Paige

Phoebe!

Phoebe

Hi. Oh! Oh, okay. What's the celebration?

Paige

I'm just... so happy to be home, that's all!

Piper

You wanted to move out.

Paige

I did? God, no. Never! Well, I mean, you know, maybe when I'm married or pregnant or... hopefully both at the same time. We're sisters. We shouldn't split up until we absolutely have to. You know that, right?

Piper

She's rambling.

Phoebe

I hear that.

Paige

(sneezes) I'm still here, right?

Piper

Mm-hmm.

Paige

I didn't go anywhere.

Phoebe

No.

Paige

(sighs)

Phoebe

Paige, what did you do?

Phoebe

Cole?

Paige

I'm telling you, he's gone. For good.

Phoebe

Yeah, that's what we thought last time.

Piper

And the time before that.

Paige

This time is different. He straddled two worlds just like I did, but he wasn't invincible there. Cole's not coming back... ever.

Piper

It just seems far too easy. I don't know how I feel about that.

Paige

I think you should feel good about it, you know? We don't have to look over our shoulders anymore. It's over.

Phoebe

I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Piper

Let's go.

Paige

Happy birthday, Cole.

Now where's the evil?

Piper

Oh, here, there, everywhere.

Ever vanquished a demon in this house?

Phoebe

Oh, only about a hundred.

Piper

Give or take..

Phoebe

Another hundred.

Phoebe

A little help here.

Piper

What are you doing with that thing?

Phoebe

Well, first I'm going to kill it and then I'm going to stuff it.

Piper

You are not bringing that filthy thing in the house.

Phoebe

Oh, yes I am. Thanksgiving is early this year.

Piper

Yeah, actually. Take her to the attic and keep her away from that turkey.

Phoebe

Yeah, take me to the turkey.

Piper

Why would a demon be interested in killing people's dreams? I mean, they're just harmless erotic fun.

Paige

Did you say erotic?

Piper

(loudly) Exotic! I said exotic!

Who's the clown?

Phoebe

Who's the fox?

I'm Piper's dream lover.

Piper

Oh! Oh no! Listen we've never slept together in the dream, world, place...

Leo

It doesn't take a shrink to figure out Piper's dreams. You wanna screw somebody else.

Piper

Well at least he makes me feel sexy and not like some walking incubator. Although I guess that's what you've been dreaming about.

Leo

What about me!

Piper

Honey, we've got our own dreams to deal with, and the tracer. We'll deal with your Mr. Mom issues later.