Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Phoebe

Well, that's his call. Assuming that he had a secret. Might not have.

Piper

What are you talking about?

Phoebe

Ok, ok, you don't have to beat it out of me. Leo is a whitelighter. They're sort of guardian angels for witches. And they're not supposed to get involved with witches, but Leo couldn't help it. He fell in love with you, and that broke all the rules and got him in all sorts of trouble. And even though he'll love you forever, you will probably never see him again.

Piper

What? Phoebe, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Oh, God. Don't be so silly.

Phoebe

That's me, silly.

Piper

And looky here, miss Phoebe's diaries...

Phoebe

The place where I kept all my secrets...

Piper

What?

Prue

The place where you kept your secrets?

Piper

Phoebe, you could never keep a secret...

Phoebe

Oh, that is so not true.

Piper

You're the only Halliwell that actually likes earthquakes.

Prue

I don't like them, but I don't go running through the house naked screaming "run for your life" either.

Phoebe

Okay. That is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers.

Piper

I don't know. Maybe only one set of us can have powers at the same time in the same time.

Prue

Thank you Mr Spock.

Grams

What's the secret ingredient in my blueberry cobbler?

Piper

Honey, and a splash of rum.

Piper

We didn't go anywhere. We were just standing here, and the next thing we knew...

Phoebe

We were just standing here.

Patty

I told you to use poplar buds.

Grams

It's a perfectly good spell. I mean, it moved them through time.

Patty

Yeah, ten seconds.

Piper

(peeks into the hall) It's clear.

You betrayed us, little brother. I'm very disappointed.

Leave them out of this, Greg.

You're protecting witches now?! You make me sick!

Piper

Prue?

Prue

Now!

No, not this time. I'm ready for you. (picks up the knife) But family first.

You want me? Come get me.

Greg, wait!

Prue

Brendan, don't let them turn you. Don't use your powers.

(to Greg) Give him a chance. (turns to Brendan) It's not too late, you can still join us.

You are either with us or you are against us!

Then I'm against you.

Then you will die. (he throws the knife at Brendan, but Paul jumps in front and the knife goes into him instead) Damn you, Brendan!

No, Greg. (he pulls the knife out of him) Damn you! (He throws the knife and hits Greg, and both slump over dead)

Phoebe

Then what's wrong with being a couple?

Piper

Well, I thought Leo and I were a couple and then we...coupled and he took off.

Piper

Prue, have you seen my purse?

Prue

In the kitchen. Have you seen my keys?

Piper

They're by the T.V. I can't find my plane ticket. Did I give it to you?

Prue

Maybe you packed it.

Piper

I didn't just pack it, I just saw it.

Phoebe

I can't believe it.

Prue

(snatches Piper's plane ticket off Phoebe.) Found it.

Phoebe

I've been practicing how to call a premonition, and I did it. I saw a future event on command. Oh, and that's the good news. The bad news is... I saw you missing your flight.

Piper

Oh, great.

Piper

What am I supposed to say? That I'm a cash strapped, single, restaurant manager, who still lives in the same house I grew up in with my sisters?

Phoebe

And the cat, don't forget our cat.

Phoebe

Hello? Anybody home? Sister witches, guess what?

Piper

Oh, oh. Are you nuts?

Phoebe

What are you doing?

Hi.

Phoebe

Hi.

Piper

Ooh!

Phoebe

Hi.

Piper

Sister witches? I can't believe you said that. What's the matter with you?

Phoebe

How was I supposed to know that you were gonna be here with anybody? Last I heard that you were meeting a banker friend about the loan. Is this the credit check?

Piper

Are you out of your mind?

Phoebe

What was I supposed to do? Say no? Look at that poor girl.

Dan

Jenny? Jenny, come on. Talk to me.

Whoa!

Phoebe

What have we got to lose, okay?

Piper

Well, apparently we've got our clothes to lose.

Phoebe

I see that. [drags Piper towards the rock and starts to undress]

Piper

No. Whoa, whoa, wait, what are you doing?

Phoebe

When in Rome...

Piper

No, no, no! We're not in Rome, Phoebe, we're in California, and it's illegal here!

Phoebe

Wow, what did you buy?

Piper

Doody.

Prue

We weren't out of that.

Piper

No. I stepped in it, again. That man has turned our frontwalk into a puppy minefield.

Phoebe

I can not believe that guy still lets his dog do his business right in front of our house.

Prue

Well, we've left notes.

Piper

Yes, and that left no where.

Phoebe

Yes, well, I've had it. Next time I catch him in the act I'm gonna get him a piece of my mind.

Piper

That couldn't be.

Phoebe

Oh, I hope it is.

Piper

That's them. That's the guy and his dog. I can't believe it.

Prue

That is so rude. He's just gonna walk away.

Phoebe

Then don't let him. Use your magic.

Piper

Uh?

Phoebe

Well, if you can't teach the dog new tricks, how about the owner? Just think on the money we'll save on carpet cleaning alone.

Prue

Phoebe, we can't use our magic just to teach him or anybody else a lesson.

Phoebe

Why not? It's for the greater good. I mean that's our job, right? Think of it as a community service. We will do a whole block a favor. Come on! Ok, Piper.

Piper

Hope he's not out of my range.

Phoebe

Prue?

Piper

Nice shot.

Phoebe

An eye for an eye, a shoe for shoe. Oh, oh.

Prue

Did he see you?

Phoebe

So what if he did? What's he gonna do? Cry a witch? [the girls turn away from the window] Well, we've done our good deed for the day. I think I deserve 15 minutes of channel surfing. [A report about baseball player Cal Greene appears on the TV as Phoebe flips through channels]

Piper

Who wants coffee?

Prue

I'll grind.

Phoebe

[gasps, as she gets a premonition about the future]

Prue

[she and Piper run back into the room] Phoebe, are you okay?

Piper

Take a deep breath, honey. It's all right.

Phoebe

No, it's not. I saw my future. I was being executed. Burned alive.