Javier Esposito quotes from Castle

Beckett

So this third cop wasn’t Lockwood’s target. His third cop was the one who was holding Lockwood’s leash. He’s the one who’s behind this whole thing. Okay, I want us to pull reports with Raglan and McCallister’s name on it.

Ryan

We did all that already.

Esposito

Months ago. There’s nothing.

Beckett

No, no, no. I’m not talking about arrest reports. I’m talking about performance evaluations…

Esposito

We went through everything. We looked at every cop we could find who could have worked with them. None of them were our third guy.

Beckett

Well, then check it again. And when you’re done with that, check it again.

Ryan

Beckett, we want him as bad as you.

Beckett

The hell you do! Nobody wants him as bad as I do, okay? Nobody. So check it again!

Ryan

Haven't you ever wanted to be a superhero? Going out there, prowling the city, knocking some heads.

Esposito

I do that now.

Esposito

Yo, Ryan, 'sup man, where you been?

Ryan

Down at the college running down that break-in in Hamilton's office. So listen to this- (looks down at the desk) What the hell is this?

Esposito

That, my friend, is Beau Randolph's alibi.

Ryan

A dead pigeon?

Esposito

CSU found it on the roof of his building with a slug on his belly from his .45.

Ryan

Seriously? Randolph really did come up there, huh?

Esposito

Just writing him up for animal cruelty right now.

Ryan

Maybe there's still time to cryogenically freeze the little guy…

Esposito

I don’t get it. This is a little, old, retired librarian. What could possibly be in her safe-deposit box that would be worth doing all this?

Ryan

Nazi gold, cold fusion, map to Atlantis.

Esposito

Hey, Castle Jr., could you maybe start thinking like a cop, please?

Castle

You know, the man owned a casino. A guy like that, you’d think he’d have a driver.

Esposito

Especially since he was expecting trouble. He came heavy. [Holds up a bagged gun] It’s a .357 Magnum with all six still asleep in the cylinder.

Ryan

He didn’t even pull it out of the glove box. If he did, we’d be standing over the other guy.

Castle

Yeah well, you got to know when to hold them. And, when to fold them.

Esposito

Know when to walk away. Know when the run.

Lanie

[giving Esposito an irritated glance] Detective Esposito, a little respect, please. I mean, there is a dead body here.

Esposito

What’d I do?

Castle

You broke up with her.

Esposito

We broke up with each other. That’s different.

Castle

Yeah, you would think it would be different. But, no.

Esposito

Did you see that? He [Ryan] just sidestepped me. What’s that about?

Castle

It’s almost as though the thought of marriage fills him with an impending sense of doom. [Laughs] No, no, wait, that’s me.

Esposito

What are you doing?

Castle

What’s it look like? Do you think I was going to pass up a road trip to the Boardwalk Empire, the East Coast epicenter of dancing, gambling, showgirls and sin?

Ryan

You do realize we’re going there to investigate a murder, don’t you?

Castle

[putting his arms around their shoulders] Gentlemen, if I’ve learned one thing, it’s to not let a little thing like murder get in the way of having a good time. And also, shotgun.

Beckett

[Heading to the evidence room] Espo, what are we doing back here?

Esposito

I want to show you something. [Pulls out a rifle]

Beckett

What is that?

Esposito

The rifle that shot you.

Beckett

You are way out of line.

Esposito

Just look at it.

Beckett

[Backs away] What the hell are you doing?

Esposito

I’ve been where you are, I know what you’re going through.

Beckett

Javi, I’m fine.

Esposito

You’re not fine. You’re just trying to act like you are. [Holds up the rifle] This is just a tool. It’s a hunk of steel. It has no magical powers, and the person that fired it is not some all-powerful God. Just a guy with a gun. Just like the guy we’ve hunting now. And like every other bad guy, he’s damaged goods.

Beckett

[After a moment of silence] So am I.

Esposito

That’s right. And that’s okay. You think it’s a weakness? Make it a strength. It’s a part of you. [Hands the rifle out to her] So use it.

Castle

What's gonna happen with that tiger anyway?

Esposito

Shoot it.

Kate

She'll get transferred to a sanctuary.

Esposito

Or that.

Kate

Probably end up in a zoo. Why, you wanna go visit her?

Castle

No. No thanks, I'm good.

Kate

Alright, you guys get some rest.

Esposito

You too.

Kate

That has gotta be the strangest brush with death I've ever had.

Castle

Me too. But I'll tell ya, after that experience, if I ever have to be hitched to someone, it would be you.

Kate

Hitched?

Castle

Hitched? No, I didn't say hitched. I said cuffed. Handcuffed, not hitched. (He helps her into her jacket.) The colloquial or any other connotation or meaning.

Kate

It's okay, Castle, I understood what you meant, and for what it's worth, if I ever have to spend another night handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you either.

Castle

Really?

Kate

But next time, let's do it without the tiger. (She walks past him.)

Castle

Next time?

Beckett

She’s playing with us. She’s gonna knock it over. What are we gonna do?

Castle

There’s only one thing to do. Scream like little girls

Help! Help!

Esposito

Beckett! Castle!

Beckett

Esposito!

Esposito

Is that a tiger?

Castle

Yeah, yeah, that's a tiger! Hey, how about getting us out?

Esposito

I don’t know what this dude Bailey was into, but whatever it was he had it going on.

Ryan

Really? This impresses you? These women are pathetic for falling for this guy and Bailey? Bailey was just a con man, and a liar.

Beckett

Thank you. At least there is one real man amongst us. Ryan, why don’t you take The Situation down to The Magic Bottle and see if we can get an ID on Lisa.

Castle

We could keep him here at the precinct. I mean, we could use a mascot.

Esposito

I thought that’s what you were.

Castle

That... what’s that? What's that buddy? Esposito’s sense of humor fell down a well and can’t get out?

Castle

You think she’s wearing a wire?

Esposito

Dude, look at that outfit. Where’s she gonna put a wire?

Castle

Well, if I had to be creative, I’d guess... (noticing Kate’s look.) That’s rhetorical.

Castle

And if I did tell you, well then I’d have to kill you.

Esposito

Yeah? Good luck with that.

Castle

Yeah, realistically that’s not...

Castle

There’s this whole adult role playing subculture obsessed with fairy tales. (Kate looks at him.) Not that kind of adult role playing, although, there is that one too.

Beckett

And you know this how?

Castle

Did a little research. Hmm. Bo Peep. Anyway, these people get dressed in the outfits, they play the characters, they even re-enact the stories. Maybe that’s what Amy was doing when everything went horribly and tragically wrong.

Beckett

Castle, that is a surprisingly reasonable and grounded theory.

Castle

Yeah. In fact, I am a little disappointed in myself.

Esposito

We all are, bro.