Richard Castle quotes from Castle

Castle

These are communications to and from the Iranian mission.

Yep.

Beckett

That's incredibly illegal.

Yep.

Beckett

And while Castle's downloading, I'll track the signal using the Wi-Fi analyzer on my phone.

Martha

You can find a spy on your phone?

Castle

Mother, there's an app for everything now.

Martha

You know, for years I wondered if your father was the one who got away. Well, now, I finally know.

Castle

He was never worth your time.

Martha

Oh, yes, he was. First time I met him, he gave me the greatest gift of my life. You. And now after all these years, he's given me another one. Closure. So what about you, kiddo? How are you?

Castle

I don't know.

Martha

Think we'll ever see him again?

Castle

I wish I knew.

Esposito

Hey Castle, looks like your lovelife made the paper again...

Castle

Ah, what? Alright, alright, who am I gonna hook up with now?

Ryan

[Reading an article in the paper] Novelist Richard Castle and New York Police detective Katherine Beckett, both native New Yorkers, are pleased to announce their engagement.

Castle

No, nah, nonononono, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't do this...

Beckett

[Coming forward] Actually, I did.

Castle

I thought you...

Beckett

I know Castle, I like my privacy, but I do realize that you're somewhat famous...

Castle

[Indignantly] Somewhat?

Beckett

Yes, and if we're gonna be together, I have to come to terms with that. And if they're gonna write about you, I want it to be the truth, I want it to be about us. [Hugging Castle]

Castle

Well, there's no one that... [Esposito and Ryan grinning in the background, waiting for Castle and Beckett to kiss, Castle giving them the looks, they turn away] There's no one I'd rather share a headline with, but just for the interest of accuracy, let's see if we are getting married in space?

Beckett

No, it's not gonna happen babe...

Castle

[looking disappointed] Be pretty fun, space...

Castle

Mother, what are you trying to force on my lovely fiancée?

Martha

No, no, no, no, no. I am just trying to expose Katherine to the glorious world of wedding magazines.

Beckett

They are all very girly, with a lot of gauzy photos of love-struck brides looking off into the distance.

Castle

Perhaps they're contemplating the 50% divorce rate.

Beckett

Do you regret it? That prank, missing your prom, not being here with Audra Dobson?

Castle

Not even a little bit. Everything I've ever done, every choice I've ever made, every terrible and wonderful thing that's ever happened to me, has all led me to right here, this moment, with you.

Just one thing I need to know, Mr. Castle. It's haunted me for years: where did you get the cow?

Castle

Put it this way sir, if you ever need one, I know a guy.

Castle

She was thrown against the ceiling? That is a superhuman feat, bordering on physically impossible.

Okay, Castle, let's hear it. What's your outlandish theory?

Castle

Isn't it obvious? Madison made the Hulk angry.

Ryan

...but I did find out about our victim through his personal website.

Beckett

He's got his own website?

Ryan

Yeah, he's an actor. A struggling one, judging by his credits.

Castle

Justin Marquette is "a member of the Roster Theater Company" and is "currently appearing in their off-off-off-Broadway production of Checkhov's Platonov." That's a lot of "offs."

Esposito

[To Castle] Alright. Come on.

Castle

Hmm?

Esposito

Give us one of your theories, bro. Come on. Whatever it is, it can't be any crazier than what we're already dealing with.

Castle

Okay. I think...I'm man enough to admit I'm completely theory-less.

Castle

What if their lives intersect, just not in such a literal sense?

Beckett

Castle, no, please. If this is some alternate universe theory, I'm not in the mood.

Castle

Really. Alternate universe, that's how little you think of me.

Beckett

I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry, I just, I thought that...

Castle

No, they're psychically linked, and not just to each other, but to the actual killer. See, they've seen the crime through his or her eyes, and the experience is so visceral that both Sam and Anita think that they committed the crime themselves.

Beckett

[giggles] I'm sorry, it's just you got excited, it's kind of cute.

Castle

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how I like the weird stuff.

Beckett

Tell me what this is all about.

Castle

Not until I know I'm right. Which... I am. You should know, you're engaged to a genius.

Beckett

Yes, a genius at annoying me.

Castle

So, I'm Justin, and you are one of these several people who shot me.

Beckett

I'm starting to feel the urge

Castle

See what happens when I leave you alone?

Beckett

Babe, I wasn't alone. When they were interrogating me, the only thing that kept me going was thinking about you, about our future, the wedding. You were with me the whole time.

Castle

It looks like she was stabbed with a knife.

To the untrained eye, perhaps, but what you don't know about post-mortem analysis could fill a book, Mr. Castle. In fact, it has. Numerous times.

Castle

Fine. So, it was not a knife.

Ah, wrong again. It was a knife, but "stabbed" implies the blade was thrust into the victim, whereas this wound was produced by it being hurled into her chest.

Beckett

What is this, Last of the Mohicans?

Castle

I was about to make that phone call, and that's when the ninjas attacked!

Beckett

You've got an excuse for everything, don't you?