Richard Castle quotes from Castle

Castle

So it wasn’t a dream?

Beckett

No. you definitely weren’t dreaming.

Castle

And you were right. I had no idea.

Beckett

So you liked it?

Castle

Yeah.

Beckett

Even the part where...

Castle

Especially that part. I love that.

Beckett

Good. Me too.

Gates

How do you explain the fact that Maddox, the killer we’re searching for and the man who shot you last year, is the one lying there dead?

Castle

Bad karma.

Lanie

I figured out what’s different. You’re having sex.

Beckett

Excuse me?

Lanie

Oh, don’t try to deny it. There’s a glow. I know that glow. So, who’s the guy?

Castle

Yeah, Beckett, who’s the guy?

Beckett

Nobody that you would know, okay?

Castle

Are you sure? I know a lot of guys.

Beckett

I’m sure.

Beckett

Isn’t she the reporter that shows up to cover stories in her bikini?

Castle

I don't... is... I didn’t notice that.

Beckett

You wanna try it again? Make it sound a little more convincing?

Castle

No. I’m good.

Beckett

Do you actually buy this whole ‘just friends’ thing?

Castle

It’s possible.

Beckett

Yeah, it’s possible. But it’s not probable.

Castle

I don’t know. You and I were just friends for four years.

Beckett

Except you were trying to sleep with me that whole time.

Castle

What?

Beckett

Mmm hmm.

Castle

Excuse me, it was you that was trying to sleep with me.

Beckett

What?

Castle

Don’t tell me you dress like that for Esposito.

Esposito

What’s for me?

Beckett

Nothing.

Castle

(At the same time.) Don’t worry about it.

Castle

The direct tox monitor, of course.

Beckett

You have no idea what that is.

Castle

No, not a clue.

Castle

Look, I tried everything to get away. I-I hid under the counter. I was hiding in the bathroom. At one point I tried to pull a Cape Fear up under the piano.

Beckett

Yet when I walked in, she was straddling you on the couch

Castle

Right? She’s like the Terminator of sexpots.

Beckett

What is that even supposed to mean? She just keeps on coming?

Castle

What? That’s… [grabs her arm and pulls her to the side] The only reason I went on the date in the first place was because you made a big deal about being single in public.

Beckett

Castle, I have 12 missed phone calls from Chip the sportscaster because he thinks that I’m single, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna let him mount me in a Speedo just to prove it.

Castle

You didn’t tell me he called.

Beckett

Really? You’re gonna play the jealousy card now?

Castle

Okay, look, I’ll make it up to you, all right? Whatever you want.

Beckett

What I want is not to have this image of a bikini-clad woman stuffing her boobs in your face. So good luck with that.

Castle

Don’t I even get credit for figuring out who the killer is.

Beckett

No!

Beckett

Can we say that we will talk about dating other people, but we won’t actually date other people?

Castle

Yeah, I can…No, I can do that.

Beckett

Okay, good. ‘Cause I have a gun and you don’t really have a choice.

Castle

Clearly, I don’t have a choice.

My little girl is going to college.

Martha

Seems like just yesterday you were checking under the bed every night promising her that monsters aren’t real.

I lied. Monsters are real. They’re the boys in her freshman dorm.

Martha

Oh, speaking of which, before Alexis leaves, don’t you think you should have then, um... talk with her.

You mean the sex talk? Mother, I covered that ages ago. I learned so much.

Martha

I mean the you and Beckett sex talk.

Mother, Beckett and I haven’t...

Martha

Save it. Richard. I knew the morning I walked in here and the poor girl was hiding in the closet.

How did you know that?!

Martha

Mothers know these things. But I don’t think you want Alexis to walk in unannounced and find you and Beckett... out of the closet. And by out of the closet...

I know, I know what you mean by out of the closet.

Martha

So, don’t you think you should tell her?

Alexis

Tell me what?

Beckett

Yeah, well, the key to Wendy’s murder might be in that junk and we’re about to lose it. There’s no way I can get a warrant in time.

Castle

May not have a warrant, but I got something better. Checkbook.

Auctions are cash only, hotshot.

Castle

Oh, no. What are we gonna do? Is 2 grand enough?

Beckett

What are you doing with 2 grand in your pocket?

Castle

I’m a best-selling author. Why wouldn’t I have 2 grand in my pocket?

Castle

You are so going to owe me for this.

Beckett

Castle, I don’t know if the department’s gonna be able to reimburse you for all of this.

Castle

[Whispering] That’s not the owing I mean.

Castle

Call 911

Beckett

[Scowling at him] You think?

Ryan

Hey, Castle. Yeah, I’m gonna put you on speakerphone so you can weigh in on this.

Castle

Weigh in on what?

Esposito

Well, we’re in the morgue with Lanie trying to figure out who Beckett’s boyfriend is.

Lanie

I have nothing to do with this nonsense. [walks away]

Castle

Yeah, until you’re bagging their mangled bodies when Beckett finds out.

Esposito

Pfft! Like we’re afraid of Beckett. [Chuckles]

Ryan

Besides, how’s she gonna find out?

Beckett

Why are you even helping them?

Castle

Oh, come on. The good news is, they’re completely fooled about us.

Beckett

Yeah, well, I don’t understand why they even care.

Castle

Ah, why do people care about Brangelina?

Beckett

Oh, so we’re Brangelina now?

Castle

No. No, no, we’re Rick-ate. No, we’re Kat-ick.

Beckett

Mmm…

Castle

Cas-kett. Ooh, that’s good! ‘Cause of the whole murder thing. Caskett?

Beckett

Mm-hm

Castle

Jewelry. I never would've thought of that.

Beckett

I guess I'll have to remind you when my birthday's coming up.

Castle

Why, Detective Beckett, was that a hint you just dropped?

Beckett

Why, Mr. Castle, I do believe it was.

Castle

Shameless.