[Walter sees Jesse sneak into his backyard]
You can't be serious. What the hell are you doing here?
JesseYo, I waited 'til the ball buster left. I mean, no offense.
Who sent you? You wearing a wire? You setting me up?! [aggressively pats down Jesse, who pushes him off]
Jesse
Homo. [incredulously] A wire? You want a wire? I got a wire. [grabs crotch] Speak into the mic, bitch! [Walter shoves him again] What the hell's wrong with you? "A wire." Jesus!
So who did you tell about–
Jesse
Nobody! What are you, nuts?
Jesse
I don't know. To like... touch base—
Jesse
Yeah, you know...what you call... a debrief? Maybe we could like... I thought we could debrief.
Wow, that's... that's what you think we need, to debrief?
Jesse
Yeah, after what happened, it just seems like the thing to do. Kind of, you know, talk about it. We can't talk to anybody else. Anyway, that and I wanted to... I wanted to tell you how much everybody digs that meth we cooked.
Everybody digs... the meth we cooked?
Jesse
Seriously, I got dudes that would give their left nut for a little more.
Jesse
I'm just saying, if you ever...saw your way clear to... you know, you and I... cooking a little more.
Get the hell off my property.
Jesse
What? I'm just saying.
Go and don't come back. Now!
Jesse
Alright. You know what? [Jesse takes out a wad of cash] Four grand. Your share from selling that batch. That's why I'm here. Yeah, that's right. I didn't smoke it all.
[Jesse tosses the money into Walter's pool and leaves]
Let's get something straight. This–the chemistry–is my realm. I am in charge of the cooking. Out there on the street, you deal with that. As far as our customers go, I don't want to know anything about them. I don't need to see them. I don't want to hear from them. I want no interaction with them whatsoever. This operation is you and me, and I'm the silent partner. You got any issues with that?
Jesse
Whatever, man.
No matter what happens, no more bloodshed. No violence.
[Cut to a brief flash-forward of Walter, with a shaved head and bloody nose, walking away from a chaotic scene with a smoking building in the background. He is holding a bag with blood on it]
Jesse
When were you going to tell me?
Jesse
Cancer. You got it, right?
Jesse
[pointing to Walter's chemo mark on his chest] My aunt had one of those... dots on her to target the radiation. What is it, in your lung? I'm your partner, man. You should have told me. That's not cool, okay? Not at all. What stage are you?
Jesse
Gone to your lymph nodes.
Your aunt... How bad was she when they caught it?
Jesse
Bad enough. She didn't last long.
Jesse
Seven months. I get it now. That's why you're doing all this. You wanna make some cash for your people before you check out.
You got a problem with that?
Jesse
You tell me. You're the one that looks like you just crawled out of a microwave.
[Jesse comes back after selling meth]
How much meth did you sell?
Jesse
Nearly an ounce.
Last I checked, there were sixteen ounces to a pound. What did you do with the rest, smoke it?
Jesse
Yo, I've been out there all night slinging crystal! You think it's cake, moving a pound of meth one 'teenth at a time?
So why are you selling it in such small quantities? Why don't you just sell the whole pound at once?
Jesse
To who? What do I look like, Scarface?
This... [holds up his small share] is unacceptable. I am breaking the law, here! This return is too little for the risk! I thought you'd be ready for another pound today!
Jesse
You may know a lot about chemistry, man, but you don't know jack about slinging dope.
Well, I'll tell ya–I know a lack of motivation when I see it. [Jesse scoffs] Come on, you–you've gotta be more imaginative, you know, just–just think outside the box here! We have to move our product in bulk. Wholesale! Now, how do we do that?
Jesse
What do you mean? To, like, a distributor?
Yes. Yes, that's what we need. We need a distributor! Now, do you know anyone like that?
Jesse
Yeah. I mean, I used to, until you killed him.
[pause]
So... who took Krazy-8's place?
Jesse
Some guy named Tuco. Badass, from what I hear.
Tuco. Okay, so then, just go talk to Tuco.
Jesse
[scoffs] Right. Like, "Hello, sir. Hey, I know you don't know me, but would you be interested in a felony quantity of methamphetamine?"
Well, yes, but maybe with a little more salesmanship, perhaps?
Jesse
You just don't get it, man! Okay, this guy's OG!
What–What does that mean?
Jesse
Agh, Jesus. Look, he's off our level, man! He's not gonna do business with some dude he doesn't know! You just don't understand the way it works; you can't just bum-rush some high-level iceman and start cutting deals, okay? It's risky. You need an intro, you need someone to vouch.
Well, who introduced you to Krazy-8?
Jesse
Emilio, and that's only because I knew him from, like, third grade, and we can't talk to Emilio either, because—
Alright, alright, alright...
Jesse
Look, I'm telling you, Mr. White... it's too risky. 'Kay? I mean, we're making money, why can't you just be satisfied with the way it is?
Oh, come on! Jesus! JUST GROW SOME FUCKIN' BALLS!!
[Walter and Jesse are meeting Tuco at a junkyard]
Jesse
A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place?
What's wrong with it? It's private.
Jesse
This is... This is like a... a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet. This is like, "Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me."
Yeah, so... so where do you transact business? Enlighten me.
Jesse
I don't know. How about Taco Cabeza? Half the deals I've ever done went down at Taco Cabeza. Nice and public. Open twenty-four hours. Nobody ever gets shot at Taco Cabeza. Hell, why not the mall? You know, wait at the Gap. "Hey! It's time for the meet!" You know, I'll put down the flat-front khakis, head on over, grab an Orange Julius. Skip the part where psycho lunatic Tuco, you know, comes and steals my drugs and leaves me bleeding to death.
[Tuco pulls up in his Escalade. Jesse fidgets]
Look, you don't have to be here for this, okay? I mean, seriously. I'm okay.
Jesse
Nah, I'm no pussy. I'm good.
[Tuco and his henchmen get out]
Mr. Clean and his boy. [to Jesse] Now, I'm sorry I had to tune you up. Respect, ese. You gotta give it to get it. [looks around] Hey, what are we doing way the hell out here? What, they close the mall or something? [Jesse glances at Walter] Heisenberg, come on, break it out. [Walter takes out a bag of meth] That's it? That's all you got?
We had some production problems.
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the meth] Point five three.
I thought you was a player. You told me two pounds, and now you waste my time with these chiclets? [tosses Walter his money] Seventeen-and-a-half, minus the half for wasting my time.
What?! You gonna argue?! You got something to say?! [pause] You're doing business like a couple little bitches.
I want all of it. [everyone stares at him] Seventy grand.
You like this product, and you want more. Consider it a capital investment.
[gets in Walt's face] Look, old bald motherfucker. Fifty-two and a half, 25 points vig.
[Tuco looks at Jesse]
Jesse
Interest. Weekly.
...Okay. That's $65,625 with interest. 1.875 pounds.
No. Two pounds. Next Friday, and no production problems.
Can you handle four pounds?
[Tuco and Jesse look at Walter in disbelief]
Listen, old man. Talk is talk, but owing me money... that's bad.
[Walter and Jesse meet Tuco and his men at the junkyard with their new meth]
What is this shit? This is blue.
We used a different chemical process, but it is every bit as pure.
Jesse
It may be blue, but it's the bomb.
[snorts meth] Tight! Tight, tight, yeah! Oh, blue, yellow, pink, whatever, man! Just keep bringing me that! [he hands the bag of meth to No Doze, and gives Walter a bag of cash]
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the bag of meth] Four point six.
[working out the value of the excess in his head] Uh… Come on. [Gonzo gives two more clips of money to Walter and Jesse] What did I say, man? This guy can cook! You're alright, man. You're alright. We're going to make a lot of money together.
NDNo-Doze
[with a lot of attitude] Just remember who you're working for.
[angered, he turns and faces him] What did you say?
NDNo-Doze
I'm just saying they got to know that they're working for you.
Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, I'm just...I'm just saying.
Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, come on, Tuco. I'm just... I'm just saying.
No, you're just speaking for me! Like I ain't got the GODDAMN SENSE TO SPEAK FOR MYSELF! Is that it? Is that what you're doing?
Tuco. Tuco, hey, why don't we just all relax, huh?
[laughs] Heisenberg says "relax". Orale, homes. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed-
[Tuco punches No-Doze in the face. Tuco proceeds to punch him over and over while he is on the ground, leaving him bloody and possibly dead]
[showing off his bloody knuckles] WOOO! Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up. [inhales] Okay, Heisenberg! Next week. [chuckles]
[Tuco and Gonzo drive off with No-Doze's bloody body. Walter and Jesse look at each other in horror]
Jesse
Oh, we are dead. Dead men! Muerto, or muerte, or however the hell you...Jesus...
Jesse
This is conjecture?
Conjecture, yes. And conjecture isn't helping.
Jesse
Oh, my conjecture isn't helping?
Could you just state the facts?
Jesse
Alright, fine, facts in. Fact A: My phone rang like eight times last night. Dead air, hang-ups every time. Second fact? Like three in the morning, I saw that black Caddy of his cruising my neighborhood. No headlights.
No, if he wanted to kill us, he would have done it at the junkyard.
Jesse
What is that? Conjecture? Are you basing that on that he's got a normal, healthy brain or something? Did you not see him beat a dude to death for, like, nothing? And that way–that way he just kept staring at us. Saying, "You're done." You're done?! You wanna know what that means? I will tell you what that means! That means exactly how it sounds, yo! Alright, we are witnesses, we are loose ends! Right now, Tuco's thinking, "Yeah, hey, they cook good meth, but can I trust them?" What happens when he decides, "no"?
[Jesse is explaining how he will kill Tuco]
Jesse
Alright, say we set up one last sale–this is providing he doesn't decide to waste us before then. Now every time we bring in a new batch, he always tests the product, right? So... as his head is down, y'know giving it a snort, just: Pop, pop, pop!
Pop, pop, pop? So, three shots?
Jesse
Yeah, three shots, or I dunno, two?
No, wait—So, is it two or is it three?
Jesse
I mean, two would probably work, I guess, yeah.
Okay, two shots. Two shots in the chest, two shots in the face? What?
Jesse
Man, c'mon—
No, I am just trying to understand how this works! [pause] Okay. Alright, we'll put a pin in that—but by now, the big guy, Gonzo, he's probably coming at you, right?
Jesse
Yeah...
Right, so you turn towards him...
Jesse
Yeah, just whale on him!
...and then, how many shots for him? I mean, he's a big guy, right? How many shots does that take?
Jesse
I dunno, three? Three shots?
Okay, three shots. Okay, Tuco and Gonzo, two men down... Now, is there anyone else there? I mean, Tuco is usually with someone else, right? Maybe even a couple of guys, his- his dealers, his posse? [Jesse is unable to answer] Alright. So, we'll put a pin in that one, too. Now at this point, how many shots have been fired? I mean, you've gotta be running low, right? How many bullets does that gun even take?
[Jesse tries to open the gun to check, but is unable to do so, and eventually puts it down in defeat]
How can you suggest that we kill a man and you can't even open the gun? It's not that easy, is it?
Jesse
Hey, man, Walt... You did it.
Jesse
Look, it's got five bullets. I finally figured out how to... [struggles to open the gun]Look, I just finally... [gets it open] I figured it out. I say we get a second gun. Right? For you? I mean, don't we like double our chances? I mean, mathematically?
Jesse
Oh, thank God! Alright, what is it, Mr. White? Lay it on me.
[holds up a small bag of...] Beans.
Jesse
Beans?
Jesse
So what are we gonna do with them? Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk, huh? Climb it and escape?
We are going to process them into ricin.
Jesse
Rice and beans?
[rolls his eyes] Ricin. It's an extremely effective poison. It's toxic in small doses. Also fairly easy to overlook during an autopsy.
Jesse
Alright. Alright, so...
[slaps Jesse's hand away from the beans] Don't touch them!
Jesse
Seriously? You can get poisoned from beans?
Yes. Back in the late ‘70s, ricin was used to assassinate a Bulgarian journalist. The KGB modified the tip of an umbrella to inject a tiny pellet into the man’s leg. And we’re talking about an amount not much bigger than the head of a pin.
Jesse
But it... it killed him?
Oh, yes. Now, we just need to figure out a delivery device. And then, no more Tuco.
Last two days, I couldn’t get Gonzo on the phone. He’s been acting all pouty on account of No Doze. Explain to me. How is it my fault that that little bitch did not know his place? [pause] I saw this coming. I can see the future, you know? It’s this gift that I have deep inside my head. I knew last night they were gonna come try and bust me. Gonzo...he went and snitched to the cops! That LOUSY SON OF A BITCH! I TRUSTED HIM LIKE A BROTHER! [grabs knife] I WAS GOOD TO HIM! I WAS GOOD!!!! I see Gonzo, [starts stabbing the table with the knife] I'M GONNA GUT HIM, I'M GONNA SKIN HIM, AND I'M GONNA STUFF HIS HIDE FOR A HEAVY BAG!!!!!!! And every time I hit him, it's gonna be like a lesson to myself! YOU NEVER, NEVER TRUST THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE!
Jesse
[long pause] So, you plan to, uh, ice Gonzo, like...future tense?
You're saying, Tuco... You're saying Gonzo is currently operating as a police informant as far as you know? [Tuco nods] I'm very sorry to hear that. That's disappointing.
Jesse
Yeah. I would waste him, too, yo.
Jesse
Okay.
[Walter and Jesse lament over their failed attempt at poisoning Tuco with a meth sample laced with ricin]
Chili powder. Did I not already tell you how moronic that was?
Jesse
Whatever, man. At least I tried something. Hey, it almost worked, too. How's about you leaving my gun, huh? First you boost it, then you leave it in your house. My gun.
How was I supposed to know you were chauffeuring Tuco to my doorstep?
Jesse
Well, at least he wants you alive.
Jesse
Think, think. Let's just bum rush him, man. You know, you crack him over the head with something and I'll go for his gun.
Crack him over the head with something? [sarcastically holds up a fly swatter]
Jesse
You got the C, man, alright? You're as good as checked out already, okay? You should be all like sacrificial, jumping on a grenade, yo. Just...
Oh, so my life is not the priority here because I'm gonna be dead soon anyway? That's your point?
Jesse
Uh, yeah?
[Hector, Tuco's invalid uncle, keeps ringing his bell after catching Walter and Jesse attempting to poison Tuco's food]
What? What do you want?! No. Don't even tell me you're hungry. Don't go there. [notices Hector staring at Walter and Jesse; laughs] Are you mad doggin' them, tio? What, you don't like them? [Hector rings the bell] One ding. That means yes. Tio don't like you. Why don't you like them, tio? You don't trust them? [Hector rings the bell] Why don't you trust them, tio?
Tuco, c'mon. Hey, he's–There's clearly some dementia. He's not lucid.
Shh! Did they do something to you, tio? Was it something that you don't like? [Hector rings the bell] What did they do to you? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY TIO?!
BULLSHIT! MY TIO DOES NOT LIE!
I don't know. I swear, I don't know. No, maybe it was–I did change the channel on his TV, but, uh...
Jesse
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. While you were cooking, you know, he was watching one of those, uh, those, uh, telenovels, y'know, with all those ripe honeys on it? Y'know, he was really into it. [to Walter] I told you not to change the channel, man! Y'know, dude needs his eye candy! That's it!
[laughs] Tio! Is that it, tio? Is that it, tio? Did they change your mamitas? [Hector is silent] What are you telling me, tio? Huh? Are they punking me? [Hector rings the bell]
[Tuco slowly walks toward Jesse]
Jesse
Hey... No. No, man. No...
Jesse
Don't shoot!
[Tuco grabs Jesse and drags him outside]
[Walter runs after them as Tuco begins to beat up Jesse]
[Tuco punches Jesse in the stomach and points the rifle at his head]
Jesse
No, please, no! God, please, no! Oh, God, I don't wanna die!
Tell me what you did, Walter!
Jesse
Jesus, I don't wanna die! NO!
[Walter notices Jesse has dug up a rock]
We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you are an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die.
[Jesse bashes Tuco in the face with the rock. He drops the rifle into a shallow pit. Walter grabs it as Tuco and Jesse scuffle on the ground. Jesse manages to grab a small pistol tucked into Tuco's belt and shoots Tuco in the gut. Tuco screams in pain]
Jesse
[kicking Tuco into the shallow pit] Who's the bitch now?!
Breaking Bad · 300 quotes
