Excuse me. [drags Alan away] I just wanted to tell you that what you said to me last night was truly...disgusting.
Hm. And I assure you, Denise, I'm a man of my word.
S3 E8Lincoln
Denise, you've always struck me as a woman who secretly longs to be debased. It's an awfully big job. But I feel I'm just the man to... do it.
Don't stop. I'm curious to see just how low you'll go.
All the way down. Again. And again. I see the filthy, naughty girl deep inside you, Denise, longing to get out. Now, if you're so unwilling to let her out, perhaps I should go in after her. I brought my snorkel.
SDetective Spindle
What's the infield fly rule?
I haven't the slightest. Does it involve a zipper?
[to Claire] I bet he's more familiar with a zipper than he is with baseball.
[deadpan] Really?
Denise, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Shirley. I happen to know sometimes grief can trigger the libido. It's got something to do with death causing a biological need to propagate the species. Evidently after 9-11, people were running around like rabbits.
Really? I did not know that.
If I could ever be of service...to help you cope.
Well. Shall we pick up where we left off, my little friend?
Forget it.
Why?
Because one of the rules I try to follow in my social life is, 'don't date guys who slept with my mother.'
Erica, before I pick up the phone, is there anything else I need to know?
EErica
Like?
Anything that could be construed as relevant.
EErica
Well. We were lovers.
[Jerry squeals]
That would be relevant.
My client proceeded to go hiking without her and returned, there was her friend hanging around the house. And when I say hanging, Alan, I mean like a pinata.
The midget I'm dating could be my daughter.
Let me see your underwear, Denise.
Get out.
I can get by that you're old. I can get by that you're old and gross. I can't get by that you had a history with my mother.
[to himself] You can do it. You can do it.
Jerry, do it now.
Gotta remember: Before I open my mouth, always look both ways for midgets.
[chuckles] That's a good policy.
BBella
Our breakup was very painful for me.
Me too, twelve stitches.
When is the trial?
Next Tuesday.
Really? What time?
10.
[referring to Lincoln] Seriously, he is a total fairy.
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