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SEASON 5

Bones · Season 5

Bones Season 5 quotes

151 quotes · page 5 of 11

S5 E10The Goop on the Girl

So I decided to take you up on your offer.

What offer?

You invited me to your house for Christmas dinner. You forgot you invited me.

No, it's just -- no! My dad brought by my second cousin and I really didn't like her.

Well that makes sense.

Why do you say that?

Because she's family. Ninety percent of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.

She's unapologetically dogmatic, she lives her entire life based on the quotations of Benjamin Franklin.

Maybe she feels the same way about you and your mania of logic.

Mania?

Okay, enthusiasm.

That's my partner. He's FBI.

MMargaret

His eyes are too small to be really handsome.

Well, I have to admit, I find him pleasing to look at.

Sometimes people are terrible.

I know.

Cam says that the victim's mother is burying him on Christmas morning.

I heard that.

It's just him and his mom, right?

He worked alone and never had any time for friends. What's wrong?

Max told me that being alone at Christmas means that nobody loves you. She's burying her son. Alone. On Christmas. I think that's heartbreaking.

You know, when I say heartbreaking you say the heart is a muscle, so it can't break. It can only get crushed.

Isn't it heartcrushing?

You want to go to his funeral?

Yes, I would. Then she won't be alone.

You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.

OTOwen Thiel

A man died this week. By all accounts, he was a... good man. Loved his mother. Worked hard. Shouldered his responsibilities. Man that any one of us would be proud to call a friend. I killed him with this microphone. I killed him by going on these airwaves and sharing my rage with you, spreading my rage. Now, you can say it wasn't my fault. It was a coincidence. I thought about that. Thought about it a lot, but the fact is—the fact is that if it weren't for me, he might still be alive. I'm so sorry for that. And I remembered something that I forgot over the last few years. That God is not only a god of anger and vengeance. My religious beliefs tell me that Christ did not die in vain. That He died to redeem us all. And I intend to show that this good, simple man also did not die in vain. That he redeemed one angry, shouting man. So these are the last words I will ever broadcast. I hope that they're the words you remember best. Peace on Earth.

S5 E11The X in the File

Her skeletal robusticity and large areas of muscle attachment suggest extremely good health.

A couple of weeks in the desert and no critters got at these remains?

WWendel

Perhaps there was a lot of green radiation from alien hyperdrive systems? [Cam and Brennan look at him strangely] Or something not crazy.

The man who found them remarked that he saw several set of orange eyes staring at him from the darkness.

WWendel

Orange eyeballed aliens?

Tapetum lucidum of the American coyote glows orange when light strikes the retina. What he saw were likely coyotes, not orange eyeballed aliens. Oh, you're being facetious. That was funny.

Oh, good! You got here for the good stuff!

What good stuff?

The MRI. It's an older model but entirely serviceable.

Okay, for future reference, that's not the good stuff.

Sure it is! Look at all those remodeled lateral muletas fractures. Also, signs of inflammation to the tendon fibers here and damage to -- [looks up to see the body appearing to sit up and screams in reaction]

[Booth draws his gun only to have it pulled from his hand by the magnet in the MRI. Brennan shuts the machine down; the body and the gun fall to the ground.]

[pause] You know, I won't say anything about the scream if you don't say anything about the gun.

Those terms are satisfactory.

Right.

Dr. Hodgins, I'm kind of in the middle of --

You were right, Sweets. Everything is not fine. It's not fine at all!

This is a good time.

I don't know if I want to crawl into a hole and die or run over Wendell and Angela with a truck.

You know, it's natural to have these feelings.

I'm a better man than this! I want to be happy for them, I really do.

It's easier for us to accept loneliness as long as the person we were once with is also alone.

Then when she finds happiness with someone else, oh man, it's like being stabbed in the heart.

[to Wendell regarding a melon with her face on it] Call that thing by my name one more time. I dare you.

It's ridiculous to think that there's anything on this planet worth seeing which merits crossing what are literally astronomical distances.

Maybe aliens are anthropologists. Maybe they just want to study our religion, and sex, and love, and our funny languages and line dancing.

That's an interesting possibility I hadn't considered.

Well they're living creatures. They like to reach out, Bones.

Living creatures like to reach out and eat each other.

Oh, so what are you saying? That the aliens just want to come down here and drink our spinal fluid?

Well, if the aliens are advanced enough to fly faster than light, then they can probably make spinal fluid.

Well you just said that aliens are nice.

I did not!

You just basically said that aliens are nice anthropologists.

I don't think so.

You think that aliens are you!

[laughs] You got me! I'm one of them. I was sent down as an advanced scout.

Ha! I knew it! No probing! No probing!!

[laughs] Hey, probing is a valuable way to gather information.

I know how you people like to probe!

[Booth is interrogating Marvin Breekman and has his laptop open video-conferencing with Sweets through his earpiece.]

So Mr. Breekman, you were abducted by aliens five years ago?

MMarvin

Yes.

If aliens are so advanced why would they need probes?

[On Booth's laptop screen. Sweets is looking peeved that Booth is not following his suggestions.]

MMarvin

I think they like it.

[subtly mocking] Why would you hook up with aliens if they like to anally probe you?

MMarvin

There are two races of aliens and they do not see eye to eye.

[looks at Marvin] Right.

[...]

[After questioning Marvin]

[looks at him, unconvinced] I don't believe you. I think you're lying.

[via earpiece] Sometimes I think you just pull me into these interrogations to show off. Wait Booth, I–– [Booth ignores Sweets and shuts his laptop]

S5 E12The Proof in the Pudding

Strange question, I know, but I've gotta ask. [pulls EPT test from behind her back] Are you, by any chance, pregnant?

No, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.

Do you want to know why I'm asking?

You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.

No. Very modest. I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon and the only other two people who you use that bathroom, beside me, are you and Angela.

Well, Angela is currently sexually active.

Very true.

With Wendell!

Very, very active!

And even if they use condoms, Wendell is young! His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.

You are so cheering me up right now.

Bone graft. It looks like a repair to a screw hole.

Huh. I count three metal plates.

Indicating multiple corrective surgeries.

Which could help us positively identify these remains.

Mr. White told us to regard identification as a zero priority.

I'm not as good as you are at doing as I'm told.

[smiles] Thank you!

Hey, guys! Guys, listen, I'm going to need some science jibber-jabber to distract these guys!

Oh, do you know who's really good at jibber-jabber?

Who?

Me!

Perfect! My lucky day!

[...]

Because you have forbidden us from taking samples in order to estimate the osteoconductivity of the oblique taphonomic remodeling to the mid saggital plane, enchaplametric transaction, or translation, if you will of the intramatrix can be deduced by correlating the force displacement values with the osteogenic and geogenic hydrogel nanocomposite we placed inside the surrogate.

WAgent White

Which is the cantaloupe?

You understand me perfectly.

You two don't understand. Booth is a very patriotic man. He really believes this is the greatest country ever.

Being the best doesn't mean being perfect.

It's naive to think that a country the size and influence doesn't pursue secret agendas.

Kennedy's assassination wasn't a secret agenda, it was a black stain. A dark moment in history. Do you know how many people Booth has shot for his country?

Approximately fifty.

Wow. That's a lot of blood to have on your hands. It's the kind of thing that would keep a person awake at night.

And Booth did that because he trusted that it was right, and who did he trust?

The government.

Oh.

If they lied about the murder of a president, they can lie about anything.

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