PPJ
Best excuse of the days wins.
S10 E4Excuses, Excuses
S10 E11Love In
I cant believe the boss would dob me in like that.
BBen
Ohh he just said that you and Falcon-Price were being competitive...
Russell, was being a complete jerk. Talk about win at all costs. I just, tried to cut him down to size a little bit.
PPJ
By cutting the rope on the raft?
It wasn't as if it was going to hurt anybody. I guess you've um, heard about the rest...
PPJ
Do go on.
Flashback
(Inspector Falcon-Price get's into bed and goes to pull the sheets up)
Alright, who short-sheeted my bed?
(Everyone is sitting inside around a fire. Inspector Falcon-Price takes a sip of his coffee and spits it out straight away)
Who salted the sugar?
(Jo is on the top bunk giggling into her coffee and covering her mouth with her hand)
(Inspector Falcon-Price sit's on his bed and falls straight through to the floor)
Oomph
(Jo is laying on her own bed and starts laughing uncontrollably into her pillow)
S10 E24Thicker Than Water
[PJ walks in on Jo hugging Jonesy.]
PPJ
Is this the start of a new relationship or just comfort from a friend?
Just comfort.
Thanks mate.
PPJ
In that case, I think it's my job.
PPJ
I'm saying I love you.
S10 E25Raging Hormones
What about a board?
What? To hit PJ over the head with?
No, under the mattress. My father used to swear by a board. Actually, the wardrobe door of room 7 would do fine.
PPJ
How much?
For you, PJ, nothing.
PPJ
Speaking my language.
PPJ
Careful, Boss. Your chauvinism is showing.
Of course, because we all know that every pregnant woman is capable of murder.
Do you want to have a look?
Thought you'd never ask.
[Jonesy enters Tess' ultrasound.]
DDoctor
I'm sorry, I didn't realise.
What?
DDoctor
That you were the father.
No, we're just good friends.
DDoctor
Do you want to know the sex of the baby?
Yes.
No.
Nah...
Print him out a copy if he wants. He can frame it.
I guess it's a shame we're not more like seahorses.
Seahorses?!
Yeah. It's the male that gets pregnant.
Probably the only male anything that knows what it's like to be dismissed as an eratic, hormonal half-wit every time it opens it's mouth.
BBen
Mate, you can't reason with pregnant women, they're stubborn for two.
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