Big Time Rush · Season 1
[to Carlos and Logan in the crib] The new girl is mine. I am a hot vampire. I will bite you!
Hey, Teen Wolf. Wanna practice our dance moves for tonight?
Can gotta shave my are and meet up with Jo.
Ok, but you're going to look like a really idiot when you can't do this.
I can explain!
(with their arms crossed) Okay, explain.
Guys, I can handle this. (to Jo, with his arms crossed) ...Okay, explain!
I can't. They told me that photo was gonna be on a billboard.
(pointing to the magazine along with James) Does this look like a billboard?!
GUYS!
I'm gonna see the network publicist right now, to get to the bottom of this.
Yeah, well Kendall's going with ya.
Guys! I got this. (Turns to Jo) Kendall's going with ya.
Can I hit him now?
Yeah, go ahead.
(starts to lunge for Jett, but is grabbed by security) Where did they come from?!
Logan Mitchell is about to witness the rare once-every-three-years mating ritual of the California banana slug. (Logan plays music on a radio and suddenly, he sees a text from Kendall on his phone says "It's time") Gotta go. (Ran off. Cuts to James having a picnic date with some girl)
And for dessert, I thought we could... (She and James are going to kiss, suddenly a text from Kendall appears on James' phone, stopping their moment)
Maybe next time. (Ran off as Logan follows him)
It's time. It's time, James! (Logan frantically steps over her picnic area, the girl became upset after that)
The guys are late, and they're not picking up their cell phones!
Oh, that's 'cause I gave them the day off for pranking.
WHAT? We've got a ton of work to do!
Kelly...pranks are a rite of passage for the young male.
Really! I can't wait to not hear any more of this story!
FINE. Now, PLEASE be USEFUL, and go get me some sugar...for my coffee! (he taps the lid of his cup. She gives an "ugh" look) A thank you. (Kelly walks over to the cupboard, puts her papers down and opens the door only to have lots of sugar packets falling on her. Gustavo watches in amusement as she falls to the floor) The sugar packet pile-on! A Gustavo Rocque classic. (she stands up and spits out the packets) You got PRANKED! (he points at her and she glares at him)
AHH! Everything looks pink!
I'm a doctor! I can fix this! (takes eyedrops out of pocket and gives them to Logan)
Ahhhh, now everything looks blue!
Well, what color do you want?
Oh, I don't know, ALL OF THEM?!?!?!
(laughs at Kelly mocking him) THAT IS THE WORST SONG...I HAVE EVER HEARD...IN MY LIFE! AH, HA HA HA- (Kelly punches him) Oof!
And you can't punch back, because I'm a girl!
(stands up) No you're not...you're Gustavo.
Right...AHHHH! Justin Bieber! (points forward)
Hm?!? (he, Griffin and the secretary look behind eachother. Kelly runs, and Gustavo turns to see Kelly gone. He holds his fist up) ...Bieber!
(When the boys are about to be hit by lots of pies)
DOGS! I am Kelly today. Long story. So uh... studio! NOW!
HUMAN SHIELD! (they grab Gustavo and drag him around, making the girls pie him and not them)
Hey! Thanks for the day off for pranking, Gustavo.
(incoherently) I'm Kelly... (faints)
Let's end it now, while it's even.
Agreed. (they shake hands)
(ten minutes later, Kelly's hair is frazzled and in smoke, and Gustavo is on the couch wrapped up in duct tape)
Here at our CMCBT GlobalNet Samuoid, we have a strict..."no pranking" policy. (Gustavo tries to talk, but his mouth is taped shut) I can't understand you, Gustavo, because your mouth is taped shut. (Gustavo mumbles again) Which is why I'm going to stay here, and help you stop your pranking ways.
Because you have no respect for each others' jobs, I'm recommending the "role reversal" method. The classy corporate exercise that teaches mutual respect.
So all I have to do all day is write songs with the word "girl" in it and scream a lot?
Oh yeah, well I don't even know what she does!
I do THIS! (slaps Gustavo in the head and the two have a slap fight)
Mandatory! The role reversal is now...mandatory.
Fine. (takes a binder and talks like Kelly) "Oh, Gustavo! Griffin wants his demos now! And blah, bluh, blah bluh bluh-
(takes Gustavo's sunglasses and puts them on, then imitates him) KELLY! Go get the DOGS! I've got WORK to do! UHAHHHHHHHHH! (the two make babbling noises at each other)
See? Isn't this better?
OH, HO! (starts playing, to the Jennifers) You got PRANKED, you got PRANKED, you got P-R-A-N-(scene cuts to the doctor's office where his guitar is through his head)
I think I can solve this problem. (moves the tuner on the guitar and strums) Perfectly tuned.
Oh, ha ha! (walks out)
When the guys return at noon, they'll seek refreshment. They'll see my free smoothies, but what they don't know is in each smoothie is a hidden balloon (puts one in a cup), filled with 120 pounds of pure nitrous oxide pressure. (pours the juice into the cup and laughs lightly) Then, they'll pick up the needle sharpened straw (cuts off the bottom of the straw with scissors), push the straw down into the smoothie then BOOM! The crown will be mine. (he moves the straw down into the smoothie, but the balloon explodes in his face) AHHHH! (Mrs. Knight arrived, as she sees Logan splattered himself with the smoothie)
Is this about that stupid crown you guys made in middle school?
I can't see! I can't see! I can't see! I can't see!
Come on. I'll take you to the doctor.
What's going on here? I want answers NOW.
I'm not telling you... I'm bound by Lord Prankerton's code of silence.
I'll give you priority command of reservations and VIP parking.
It was all Kendall's fault! He's the Lord High King and he forced us all into a prank war! And they'll keep pranking until only one is left. (Bitters shoves him, making him set off a whoopee cushion. He stands up and takes it) ...You pranked me. I'm out!
Nobody messes up my Palm Woods, and nobody messes with me. (takes off his glasses and puts on sunglasses)
Is this your first 5am super sale?
Yes.
Good luck.
(confused)
"Good luck?" What does that mean?
(When the sale starts women are fighting the boys over for items.)
It's for my mom! (fighting over a sweater with another woman)
Baby's first birthday frame..
No. (puts a ribbon on the frame) It's our first Christmas frame! Well it will be when you put a picture of us in it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Big Time Rush pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
