In gay Paree it's s'il vous plaît, in Germany it's bitte. Please, Serena, come this way, I need a baby sitter.
S8 E19Serena's Youth Pill
[Larry doesn't understand what Louise is getting at!]
Do me a favour, call Berlitz and get me a translator
S8 E20Tabitha's First Day at School
Is Tabitha ready for school?
Of course she's ready for school! [pause] The question is, is school ready for Tabitha?
CBCharlton, the bully
What kind of dumb name is Tabitha?
It's not a dumb name.
CBCharlton, the bully
How come I've never heard it before?
Because you never met anyone named Tabitha!
[After Charlton keeps insisting that Tabitha turned him into a bullfrog.]
CSCharlton's mom
Why does he keep saying that?
Well, maybe it's a case of ego identification.
CSCharlton's mom
Yeah. [She thinks for a second.] What's that?
Well, a bullfrog suggests bully, doesn't it?
CSCharlton's mom
Yes.
Do you follow me?
CSCharlton's mom
No.
Children need love and understanding. Without it, they sometimes become overly aggressive and turn into bullies.
CSCharlton's mom
Oh. Charlton, did you really think you were a bullfrog?
CBCharlton, the bully
I WAS a bullfrog.
Love and understanding, Mrs Rollnick.
[After Samantha has convinced the bully's mother that he only imagined himself as a bullfrog]
Young lady! You have nothing to laugh about, you started this whole mess. Now, how are we gonna deal with you?
I have an idea.
What's that?
How about a little love and understanding?
Why is it that I feel like the fox thats been cornered by the chicken!?
S8 E21George Washington Zapped Here
[After George Washington sees Abraham Lincoln's face on the $5 bill and his on the $1 bill].
GWGeorge Washington
And who is this bearded fellow?
That's Abraham Lincoln. The 16th president.
GWGeorge Washington
He must have been a very fine president to have his name honored on a $5 bill.
He was an excellent president, Sir.
GWGeorge Washington
Better than me?
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
GWGeorge Washington
Then why is President Lincoln's name on a $5 bill while the father of his country is only on a $1 bill?
Well, you see, more people can afford $1 bills than $5 bills which means more people see your picture than Abraham Lincoln's.
Sometimes, it's easier to be led than to lead. And a great many of our citizens prefer to stand on the sidelines and ignore their rights instead of defend them. They're called "The Silent Majority".
GWGeorge Washington
Experience has shown that mankind is more disposed to suffer evils while those evils are sufferable, than to right themselves and abolish those abuses.
[Referring to Esmerelda]
How come you witches can do anything, but you can't come up with a witch psychiatrist for her!
S8 E23School Days, School Daze
How would you like a drink?
Sam, just give me the news, without the anaestethic.
S8 E24A Good Turn Never Goes Unpunished
Just because blondes have more fun doesn't make them brainless, you know?
Did Larry like it?
He hated it. Right up until the time that Benson loved it.
S8 E25Samantha's Witchcraft Blows a Fuse
[Referring to Dr. Bombay].
There goes one of the great quackpots of all time.
S8 E26The Truth, Nothing But the Truth, So Help Me Sam
Darrin, don't make mother angry. She's very difficult when she gets angry.
Since when does she have to be angry to be difficult?
Your right, Derweed. I don't have to be angry to be difficult. [pause] But it helps.
Oh, Darrin. When are you going to learn that mother knows best. And what mother knows best - is how to be difficult.
[The last lines spoken in the series. Darrin is testing the truth spell Endora has cast]
Honey. You're beautiful, sweet, clever, adorable and I love you madly. [referring to the spell] It works.
Well, it doesn't work on me. But I love you. And that is the truth, the whole truth and etcetera.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bewitched pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.