DDarrin
That was no lady, that was my mother-in-law!
S3 E22 Three Wishes
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Darrin Stephens
Bewitched · 57 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Bewitched: in 26 of its 57 quotes
Most scenes with: Samantha Stephens (18), Endora (2), Larry Tate (2)
Lines by Darrin Stephens 5
[Darrin is trying to apologize to Samantha, for accusing her of using witchcraft to win a slogan competition].
DDarrin
The point is, your slogan was rejected, it was lousy. Which proves it was your imagination!
S5 E8 Is It Magic Or Imagination?
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DDarrin
What are you going out there for?
S6 E2 Samantha's Yoo-Hoo Maid
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DDarrin
I present the name & symbol for Hampton's new economy car. The unicorn.
S6 E2 Samantha's Yoo-Hoo Maid
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[Referring to Esmerelda]
DDarrin
How come you witches can do anything, but you can't come up with a witch psychiatrist for her!
Scenes with Darrin Stephens 21
You see, everything turns out for the best.
DDarrin
Yeah, when you're around to give everything a big assist, it does.
S3 E20 The Corn is as High as a Guernsey's Eye
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[Samantha is trying to hide a witches court meeting (attended by Endora, Clara, Enchantra and Hagatha) from Darrin in the other room.]
DDarrin
I know why you don't want to let me in there.
You do?
DDarrin
Mm-hm. I finally figured it out. Ladies club, right?
Sort of.
DDarrin
Is it the committee for the bazaar?
Oh, I'd certainly call them a bizarre committee.
S3 E21 The Trial and Error of Aunt Clara
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Darrin, I'm leaving you.
DDarrin
Sam!
I'm going home to mother.
DDarrin
What do you mean "going home to mother"? Your mother's always here.
S3 E22 Three Wishes
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[After losing to Charlie all day.]
DDarrin
Believe me honey, I don't feel bad. As a matter of fact, I feel great. I finally beat Charlie at something.
You said you lost by 12 strokes.
DDarrin
11.
Oh, pardon me.
DDarrin
But we flipped a coin to see who'd tip the caddy and I won. It cost me ten bucks, but I won.
S3 E26 Charlie Harper, Winner
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DDarrin
A satisfactory explanation?! You're kidding!
It's not for me. I trust you implicitly, in spite of my doubts. Mother will not take off that spell until you explain.
DDarrin
Suppose you explain to me what gives your mother the right to bug my telephone calls.
Darrin, how can I explain my mother?
Darrin (realizing Samantha's point): That's true.
S4 My What Big Ears You Have
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Happy sweetheart?
DDarrin
Let's see. I've got a beautiful wife. Lovely daughter. Comfortable home. Good job. I guess I'm reasonably happy.
Why only 'reasonably'?
DDarrin
I would be ecstatically happy if you were an orphan!
Another remark like that and I'll be a widow.
I thought you and mother were getting along rather well lately. You were almost on speaking terms.
DDarrin
Let's hope it stays 'almost'.
[After Darrin insults Endora]
Fortunately for you, I don't offend easily.
DDarrin
Let me try a little harder.
S5 E6 Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
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DDarrin
I don't believe it. In our living room, in person, sits Napoleon Bonaparte.
Yeah. You're the only living human being who can say he's had Napoleon Bonaparte as a guest in his house. It's ironic.
DDarrin
Ironic?
Yes. Who can you say it to?
S5 E7 Samantha's French Pastry
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[Laughs] Darrin, you old son of a gun, we've done it again. This Ezyway rent-a-car presentation is a masterpiece.
DDarrin
Just don't hog all the credit this time, huh, Larry. Let's make it 50-50 right down the line.
Done. I'll even go you one better, Darrin. If HB doesn't like it, it's all yours.
S5 E9 Samantha Fights City Hall
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