Mitchell quotes from Being Human

George

This can't be happening to me! This can't! I teach language!

Mitchell

[Fighting a snigger] You could teach...bad language!

Mitchell

What? There's no vampires in London?

Herrick

Yeah, but their head guy and I don't, erm...I sort of killed his Mum.

[To Mitchell] You! Get up!!

Mitchell

It's the library books, isn't it?

I'm not scared of you...at least not as scared as I probably should be.

Mitchell

Yeah. You should be terrified. You should be begging for fucking mercy.

I should be married to David Bowie.

Mitchell

You're not scared of me?

Jaggat

No, at least probably not as much as I should be.

Mitchell

What did you say?

Annie

George, I didn't think you would seriously go through with it. I thought the moment would just pass. You know, like when you decided you were gonna wear skinny jeans.

Mitchell

Skinny jeans?

George

That was a private conversation.

Mitchell

Skinny jeans, George? Seriously?

George

It...it was a moment of madness.

Annie

No, this is a moment of madness! You cannot move in with someone you've just started dating! Tell him, Mitchell!

Mitchell

Skinny jeans, George?!?

George

Yes, yes, alright...look, where the hell were you last night?

Mitchell

I was with Lucy. We, er...we finally, um...you know. Decided to, em...

Annie

Oh, this is like the problem pages of Just 17. You had sex, Mitchell. Sex.

Mitchell

Yeah.

Mitchell

Look. You just spread the word, OK. I want everyone there.

Ivan

Just leave it to me. I've got most of them on my Twitter feed, so...

Mitchell

Ivan, I've met someone. I can't be with her and be part of this. I know it's a big ask. I know it's a huge favor, but I can't. She's my way out of this chaos. This could be my last chance and if I get...Oh, forget it! It doesn't matter.

Ivan

You should have said it was about love. I get it now. We all lead long and appalling lives. But I have my Daisy. Everyone deserves a Daisy.

Mitchell

Daisy needs closure. And she's decided that the best way of getting that is by cutting your throat.

It's healthy to turn anger outward, you see.

Mitchell

Ah no, not him again. I thought he moved out! He's always fucking here.

George

Oh god. Are you drunk? I hate it when you're drunk. Listen, I need to tell you something important and you'll probably want to have a wrestle, but, uh, listen. I'm going to that place with Nina and the priest and Professor Jaggat.

Annie

And I'm going to go with him.

George

Yeah. So, ah—

Mitchell

Good. Piss off. 'Cause I'm getting really sick of your dog hairs on my clothes.

I could save you.

Mitchell

Excuse me?

I saw you in the hospital. The way George looked at you when you were dying. This isn't that man.

Mitchell

I don't get saved.

George

What happens now, Mitchell? What do we do?

Mitchell

We're going to get her back.

Mitchell

Annie was there. She was on the screen.

George

What? You're kidding?

Nina

Is she okay? What did she say?

Mitchell

We're running out of time.

George

Um, it's our friend, she's er...she's in... Midsummer Murders.

Nina

[In lingerie, with a new haircut, to George] Ahem... What do you think?

Nina

Mm? I had a little left over from the food shop, and I thought it might be nice to have something for y'know, us. Hence... [gestures to hair] and hence... [gestures to lingerie]... It was either that or off-peak gym membership.

George

You made absolutely the right decision.

Nina

Really?

George

Ow!

Nina

What? What? [George tries to get something that was poking him] What is that?

George

Pen... Hello.

Nina

Hello.

Nina

Ow! Hair, stuck, glasses...!

George

Oh is it? Oh, shit, sorry. Oh hang on, it's really tangled.

Nina

George! Eee, ow.

George

Shhh, don't pull away!

Nina

Quickly!... Oh....

George

You alright?

Nina

Yeah, fine.

George

Right. Where were we?... Hello.

Nina

Hello...

Mitchell

Have you got a radio?

George

What?!

Mitchell

I need a radio. I have an idea. [Mitchell climbs over them to grab the radio on the table next to them]

Nina

Ow, ow, Mitchell!

George

What are you doing?!

Mitchell

Cheers.

Nina

Just give me a bloody kiss. [She kisses a distracted George] Oh, look, just forget about it.

George

He's ruined everything!

Nina

Another night.

Mitchell

Have we met before?

Lia

H-12

Mitchell

H-12? What does that mean?

Lia

It's a riddle. I love riddles, don't you? Like the one about the midget. So, there's this midget who gets into a lift and— I've just given away the answer. Am I rambling?