George Sands quotes from Being Human

George

And where have you been young lady?.

Annie

I met up with Gilbert. We went to the cemetery.

Mitchell

He knows how to show a girl a good time(!).

George

Oh Annie, I really like this woman and it would be so nice to spend an evening with her without worrying about her discovering the existence of the spirit world as well as what I am.

Annie

Loads of people have had an experience with a ghost, and if they haven't they know someone who has. It is a lot more socially acceptable than you may think. They talk about it on Loose Women all the time.

George

[shouts] I had sex with Nina last night and it was bloody marvellous! [laughs with glee]

Mitchell

[Takes George to one side] Annie was killed by Owen.

George

[Sighs] Five minutes. Could I not have had five minutes with The Biggest News?

Annie

You look like bar staff.

George

Fair enough, the last time I wore it someone did ask me if the jalfrezi was off.

Mitchell

So, this "not-a-date"... tonight's the night you're gonna tell her you cross-dress?

George

[to Annie] Er... you agree with him?

Annie

It's hideous.

George

Oh, well... I kept the receipt...

George

Last night, I had the wolf in me...

Mitchell

(whispering to Annie) So did Nina.

George

Stop snickering, this is not a joke! I really, really like Nina, and I thought - well, ha-ha, I hoped! - that she liked me. But what if she's only interested in the wolf?

Annie

(considering) Hmm...

George

Oh! Oh thank you for "Oh no George, how could that be possible?"!

Who are they?

Mitchell

Are you serious? They're Laurel and Hardy!

Was the fat one Prime Minister?

George

You might be thinking of Churchill.

Annie

Or Hitler - same 'tache.

George

What else have you got up there, some German scat inside Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

Annie

How many times have you watched it?

Mitchell

I've never even seen any scat. Oh well, just that first time, to see what it was...

George

More jam?

Annie

How many is that now?

George

That's eleven jars. I wonder what it is about us that says we need jam.

Annie

It's a gesture. They feel guilty.

George

Yeah. So is writing “paedo” on the front door.

George

My thing is a part time thing.

Oh right. I thought perhaps you were a wizard or something.

George

A wizard? [Laughs] That's ridiculous.

Trust me, once you've dated a vampire you tend to have a different criteria for what's ridiculous.

Annie

I'm a ghost actually.

Seth

Get out! Can you, like, move things about and...walk from one room to another?

George

Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone can do that.

Seth

Shut it, Digby! The only reason why I haven't torn your bastard face off yet...is because I've just done the hoovering in here.

Annie

Oh, this is ridiculous!

Mitchell

You're lucky. Most people don't get a chance to say goodbye.

Annie

I know, but... fucking hell!

George

You might want to have different last words.

If you're non-believers that's fine, we can just sit together for a few moments of quiet contemplation.

George

Contemplation about what?

The fiery oblivion that awaits all atheists?

George

Oh, it's not that. I'm Jewish and... [gestures to Mitchell] he's complicated.

Jewish people pray. I've seen Yentl.

George

You're very sarcastic for a vicar.

Yeah, so people tell me and I feel very bad about it, then I forgive myself.

Let me talk to them.

George

Yes, good idea.

Oh! I was kinda hoping you'd say 'no'.

George

Say something religious.

Christ!