George Sands quotes from Being Human

Annie

So who wants tea?

George

Ugh.

Annie

What?

George

You keep making tea! Every surface is covered with cups of tea and coffee. I go to make myself some tea and I can't! There's no mugs, there's no tea! It's all been made! And you can't even drink it! You can't drink it, but you keep making it! Oh, oh, oh my god, it's driving me INSANE!

Annie

Oh, well, I like my routine, it makes me feel normal.

George

Wh- b- wh- You're a ghost!

Annie

Yeah, OK...

Annie

Owen, your landlord, my fiancé. Ex-fiancé. He's coming round!

Mitchell

In about... now.

George

He's coming here? Why?

Mitchell

He's back from Saudi for a few months and wants to meet us.

Annie

Well you guys are his longest staying tenants. All the others have er... found it strangely unwelcoming.

George

[To Mitchell] Why didn't you put him off?!?

Mitchell

I tried! But she kicked me in the shin. The shin, George!

Annie

So what did you think of her then? Janey?

George

She's... orange.

Annie

She works in a tanning salon. She thinks that looks classy! [sulking] I think she looks like Kilroy.

[showing a form to George] Does that look like a 3 or a 5 to you?

George

A 3...

That's Becca's handwriting for you. So if she give him 'is meds at 3, he's gonna need 'em again... now. But if she give him 'is meds at 5, he ain't gonna need 'em 'til 10...

George

Why don't you ask her?

She ain't answerin' 'er mobile. She's gone out for a drink with your mate.

George

Which mate...?

Oh you know... 'im with the face.

George

Where did they go?!?

Christ knows. I would've asked but then that might have seemed like I gives a shit.

Mitchell

We can't just dip our toe! We have to dive into the churn of humanity. Laugh with them, listen to their stories.

George

About Vin Diesel?

Mitchell

A... remarkable man, I'm starting to realise...

Annie

Maybe he's had a blow to the head.

George

I'm sorry?

Annie

Happened to my Nan. She got hit in the head by a radio controlled plane at a county fair. From that moment - obsessed with pygmy goats.

George

There wasn't a single bit of that sentence I understood.

George

How did you find me?

Tully

You're a werewolf living in Bristol. It kinda narrows the field.

George

This has to stop. I cannot do another conversation about Vin Diesel.

Mitchell

You just need to get him onto another subject.

George

I've tried! Leonard Cohen, Darcy Bussell - it's like he isn't interested.

Mitchell

Carol from number twelve is gonna lend us Casablanca.

George

Why?

Mitchell

I'm only in it!

Annie

Get out!

Mitchell

Yeah, I'm just an extra... in the bar... and you can't actually see me, obviously. But I do knock over a chair at one point and you can see that.

Annie

You were in Casablanca?! How did you swing that?

Mitchell

Well, I know people. I move and shake.

George

Look, don't try to understand George.

Annie

George? George who?

George

...Me!

George

Do you know the difference between you and him?

Mitchell

Mmm, I don't know, I don't have to shave my palms?

Tully

Ohhh!

George

I-I think that's actually racist.

Mitchell

He's a twat!

George

Well he's my twat!

Mitchell

You know, I'm sure that sounded much better in your head.

Annie

[to George about Mitchell] Don't go in for a hug, he might kiss you.

Mitchell

What, I--

George

Aw, I leave you two alone for five minutes...

George

My name is George... and I am a werewolf.

Mitchell

Hello, George.

Mitchell

I never know with you whether it's Jewish guilt or werewolf guilt.

George

They're pretty much the same thing.