Annie Sawyer quotes from Being Human

Annie

Why don't you just use the phone at my house? I'm only up the road.

Well, I don't think that's such a good idea Annie.

[Joking] Yeah he's right, I might murder you.

Annie

[Laughs] Oh, plenty have tried.

George

You are being careful aren't you?

Annie

Thanks, but I think I'm a bit old and dead for the contraception conversation.

Annie

Hugh is like a brother to me.

George

Oh, promise me you'll never tell him that.

Annie

I think he's really sweet.

George

Really sweet? Oh my God! Why not just stab him in the face? A brother? Annie, trust me, the only man who'd ever want to hear that is your actual brother.

Annie

"My heart yearns for your fragrant hair"?

George

That's private!

Annie

Does she have fragrant hair?

George

Yes. I'm a terrible poet and a terrible boyfriend.

Annie

What's the last line? "Because you're worth it"?

Annie

It's not interfering, it's more like regime change.

George

Oh, because that's never gone wrong.

Annie

We're like detectives - Crockett and Tubbs.

George

Or Randall and Hopkirk deceased.

Annie

We need to talk. So, George, you start.

George

[to Mitchell] Are you okay?

Mitchell

I've been better. You?

George

Likewise.

Mitchell

We should just go out one night and just get hammered.

George

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Annie

That's it? That's how you share?

George

What more is there to say?

Mitchell

Yeah, he's feeling a bit down, which is pretty understandable and I'm kind of stressed. We don't need to turn this into an episode of Oprah.

George

Exactly! File it under 'have discussed'.

Mitchell

George do you wanna watch The Real Hustle?

George

Oh I would really like that Mitchell. [to Annie] Women - think you're such authorities, like the way you deal with emotion is the only way.

Mitchell

It's not on!

George

Er, yeah it is. It's on at 10:30.

Mitchell

No, they moved it.

George

They what?! No, you're kidding me?!

Mitchell

Oh I don't believe it!

George

No, I was looking forward to that.

Mitchell

10:30 Thursdays. That's 'Real Hustle' time. A fucking child knows that!

George

Could I just not have one good thing in my life...?

Mitchell

...It just drives me insane when they move things around...

George

...Don't I deserve it? Don't I deserve one bloody crumb of happiness?

Mitchell

...This is so...what, so we're supposed to check every week! Like we don't have anything else to do! Is it our responsibility? Why's it down to us?!

George

I saw a preview. They were going to do a con about cashpoints.

Mitchell

Really? [George nods] I would have loved that. You bastards! Argh!! [Mitchell flings the TV schedule at the television and walks into the kitchen as George sobs, Mitchell walks back wearing Marigolds] There, I'll do the washing-up! Is everyone happy now?!

Annie

I'll haunt you!

You can't haunt another ghost.

Annie

I'll give it a damn good go!

Annie

[To George] What's he done?

George

How far back do you want to go?

George

What is that?

Annie

A baby. It's one of mine.

George

How long have I been gone?!

Annie

George, I didn't think you would seriously go through with it. I thought the moment would just pass. You know, like when you decided you were gonna wear skinny jeans.

Mitchell

Skinny jeans?

George

That was a private conversation.

Mitchell

Skinny jeans, George? Seriously?

George

It...it was a moment of madness.

Annie

No, this is a moment of madness! You cannot move in with someone you've just started dating! Tell him, Mitchell!

Mitchell

Skinny jeans, George?!?

George

Yes, yes, alright...look, where the hell were you last night?

Mitchell

I was with Lucy. We, er...we finally, um...you know. Decided to, em...

Annie

Oh, this is like the problem pages of Just 17. You had sex, Mitchell. Sex.

Mitchell

Yeah.

Christmas 1998. Faulty panto pyrotechnic. One minute I'm standing in the wings watching Widow Twankey belt out a chorus of "La Vida Loca" the next? Bang! Flat out on my back with every hair on my body standing to attention.

Annie

Gosh, that's awful.

It was a terrible shock.

Annie

Yeah, I bet it was.

No, I mean literally. It was a terrible shock. That's what killed me.

Annie

You can say it, George. I'm not gonna cry or anything.

George

We've found a new house and we're gonna stay there tonight.

Annie

[Annie starts to sob] Oh, God!

Mitchell

Ah no, not him again. I thought he moved out! He's always fucking here.

George

Oh god. Are you drunk? I hate it when you're drunk. Listen, I need to tell you something important and you'll probably want to have a wrestle, but, uh, listen. I'm going to that place with Nina and the priest and Professor Jaggat.

Annie

And I'm going to go with him.

George

Yeah. So, ah—

Mitchell

Good. Piss off. 'Cause I'm getting really sick of your dog hairs on my clothes.

Annie

And, um, will I come back here one day?

Lia

Well. We all end up here eventually. The problem with you was you came through the wrong door. But next time you'll come through the right one and it'll be Boggle and Pina Coladas 24-7. Spit spot! Mitchell's waiting. Is anything going on between you guys? I mean he came to purgatory to find you. Puts my ex-boyfriend's tattoo into perspective.