Annie Sawyer quotes from Being Human

Annie

For all I know this could be perfectly normal. You find out your fiancé killed you, you become a... "throwing-things-about" ghost.

Mitchell

Poltergeist.

Annie

See, you know the terms, you know how this works. I mean, do you know if I can channel it because I have been dying to pull that fridge out and clean behind it.

George

Last night, I had the wolf in me...

Mitchell

(whispering to Annie) So did Nina.

George

Stop snickering, this is not a joke! I really, really like Nina, and I thought - well, ha-ha, I hoped! - that she liked me. But what if she's only interested in the wolf?

Annie

(considering) Hmm...

George

Oh! Oh thank you for "Oh no George, how could that be possible?"!

Who are they?

Mitchell

Are you serious? They're Laurel and Hardy!

Was the fat one Prime Minister?

George

You might be thinking of Churchill.

Annie

Or Hitler - same 'tache.

George

What else have you got up there, some German scat inside Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

Annie

How many times have you watched it?

Mitchell

I've never even seen any scat. Oh well, just that first time, to see what it was...

George

More jam?

Annie

How many is that now?

George

That's eleven jars. I wonder what it is about us that says we need jam.

Annie

It's a gesture. They feel guilty.

George

Yeah. So is writing “paedo” on the front door.

Annie

I'm a ghost actually.

Seth

Get out! Can you, like, move things about and...walk from one room to another?

George

Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone can do that.

Seth

Shut it, Digby! The only reason why I haven't torn your bastard face off yet...is because I've just done the hoovering in here.

Seth

Did you just hit me with a chair?!

Annie

Yes! Sorry!

Seth

What is wrong with you people? That totally, fucking hurt!

Annie

Oh, this is ridiculous!

Mitchell

You're lucky. Most people don't get a chance to say goodbye.

Annie

I know, but... fucking hell!

George

You might want to have different last words.

Annie

[Saying her farewells to Mitchell] Don't kill anyone!

Mitchell

Good tip.

Annie

Write that down.

Annie

There's a question you haven't asked yourself yet. If I exist, what else does? You think you're the big bad wolf? You should see George on a full moon.

Annie

You think you're a cold-blooded murderer? Mitchell was killing 80 years before you were even born.

Annie

Don't you get it yet? I'm just the tip of the iceberg; I'm good cop. Look at you, so pleased with your grubby little murder. Fact is when it comes to pure naked evil, you're an amateur. I want you to know you wandered off the path. This is where the wild things are and we have got your scent now. We can find you at the edge of the earth and create unimaginable tortures...and now I'm gonna tell you the very worst thing in the world. Something only the dead know...

Owen

[scared, crying] That's not true!

Annie

I saw it. My advice to you: find a safe place, with locks, and bad dogs...and never, ever turn out the light.

Herrick came for me and now I have the blood of the ancestors. Ten thousand years of majesty and glory.

Annie

Well, congratulations on mastering the whole speaking like a twat thing.

Annie

What happens next, Mitchell?

George

Yeah, is it over? Are we safe now?

Mitchell

Maybe Herrick was right, maybe some else will pick up where he left off.

George

I meant to ask, have you started dunking biscuits into your tea now?

Annie

It was the logical next step.

George

Dunking biscuits you can't eat into tea you can't drink is the logical next step?

Annie

Okay, shut up! I'm gonna tell you. I have applied for a job.

George

As what?

Annie

Well, it's something that I've always fancied.

George

Marrying Colin Firth isn't, strictly speaking, a job.

Annie

They're advertising for bar staff at the New Found Out.

Mitchell

The pub? That's the job you've always fancied? Jesus, aim for the stars.

Annie

Hey, there's a werewolf called Nina in Buffy!

Nina

I've never seen it.

Annie

No well, I stopped watching it once, you know, I started living it.