I have to leave early today.
And leave me alone with Linda?
S6D.N.R.
OK Here's the thing...
Aw come on Linda, no THINGS!
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
I don't have a license to sell alcohol.
You don't have a license to sell rat hair, either, but that never stopped you.
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Do you think it would be silly for me to go back to college, now?
No, I think it would silly for us to have this conversation again, ten years from now.
[to Dr. John Becker] There's not a day that goes by that doesn't prove you are emotionally retarded!
[a patient can't open the door]
Door's unlocked right?
Yup.
And he still can't get in?
Apparently.
Dr. John Becker: I guess I can be a little more tolerant.
Oh, come on, you can't possibly be that stupid! If you keep pulling and it isn't working there is only one possible option, press the button and push!
[opens the door and looks to Dr. John Becker]
Jackass!
Feels good, doesn't it?
[Reggie's diner has been robbed]
Well, maybe this is a good sign. I mean, who would want to rob this place? Maybe they've finally run out of places to rob, and crime will finally stop in New York. I mean, what could they possibly rob next?
[pause]
Oh, dear God, my apartment!
Wait a minute, this guy's really good-looking, isn't he?
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
I could lick his face like a Dove bar.
Hey, Hector, how is everything?
Well, actually...
Rhetorical question, I don't really care.
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Well, I hate to break it to you--you're normal.
You can't talk to me like that! You know, you've called me alot of things, you've called me neurotic, damaged, obstinant, inappropriate, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit there and let you tell me that I'm normal. I'm not normal. I'm abnormal!
Know what I hate?
Who's got the list?
[last lines]
Well, then... then... then just tell me what's going on.
Nothing's going on, nothing's going on. At least, I don't think there is. I don't know, it's just... I feel different.
What do you mean, "different"? Are you okay?
Yes, I'm okay! It's... at least, I think I am, you know? I... I don't know, I just... lately, I've been thinking about a lot of things. You know, my work, my friends, you. None of it's perfect, but... none of it's exactly horrible, either.
[smirks] I know *I'm* flattered. John, what are you trying to say?
It's... it's like all the irritating things that people do - you know, cutting me off in traffic, disagreeing with me - it just doesn't seem to bother me as much. And then tonight, the patient I've been visiting, Mr. Gordon, he passed away.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, thanks. I mean, it happens. But, you know, the point is that he was... he was okay with dying. He was able to look back at his life and feel good, you know, content. Lately, I think I... I think I've been feeling... kind of that way, you know? I guess what I'm trying to say is I... I think I might be... I don't know... happy.
Wow. No wonder you've been so upset. Bet this is really hard for you, isn't it?
Well, it is new.
You do understand that most people work their whole lives to feel happy. It's considered a *good* thing.
I know, I know. I'm dealing with it.
I'll help you any way I can.
Thanks. I don't know, I guess we'll just take it one day at a time.
[looks down at a man in the street]
[shouting] Hey! You moron, what the... How'd you like it if I took a whiz on your front porch? Go pee in the park like everyone else!
Feel better?
Yeah, a little.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Becker pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.