Who are these guys?
Um...I think it's the Village People.
Uh...oh yeah.
Well I'll be hornswoggled and dipped in turds!
“C”
In this episode: Smart Beavis (69), Smart Butt-head (65), Butthead (3), Johnny Cash (1)
This guy keeps saying "I wanna destroy you."
Yeah, they got some pretty good lyrics, you know? Seems like it must be pretty hard to come up with stuff like that.
Uh, but you know, I bet if I was making as much money as these guys probably make, I bet I could do it too.
Uh... I don't know, Butt-head. I don't know, I mean... you're kinda stupid.
Shut up, Beavis! I could come up with stuff like this.
OK, let's see you write a song. Come on!
Uh... OK. Uh, let's see. Uh...I wanna hit you.
Uh-huh.
Then I wanna kick you. Then I wanna smack you across the face. Uh... then I want some nachos... baby.
Whoa! That's pretty good, Butt-head! We should start a band.
Yeah!
That'd be cool.
CIV, Can't Wait One Minute More
Alright, Montel Williams! Maybe they'll have some whores.
Yeah. Or some sluts!
Or a girlfight.
Yeah, or some skank-hos!
Yeah...ah, oh no. It's a video.
Uh...
...yeah.
Well, see you later Beavis. [Gets up from couch and walks away]
Ah, wait wait wait. Wait just a minute. Just check out. Maybe like, "give it a chance?"
Uh...okay. [sits back down] At least it doesn't look like a video.
Yeah, exactly.
Uh...doesn't your mom watch Montel Williams?
Yeah, she watches Montel Williams, The Jerry Springer Show, Jane Whitney...she watches all of them. She's always like, "I should be on one of those shows, Beavis!" [makes drunken sound]
Yeah, but like, what would be the topic?
Um...I don't know.
It would be like, "I'm a slut and my son's a dumbass." Next on Montel Williams.
Yeah, that's a good one, Butt-head! That way, we could both be on it. That would rule!
You dumbass.
The Clash, Should I Stay or Should I Go
Hey Butt-head, who is this?
Uh...I think it's Seinfeld.
Really? I didn't know Seinfeld rocked!
Uh...this is like back before he had his show. It's like, you know...Queen Latifah used to do videos and how she has a show?
Oh yeah. I like the fat dude on Seinfeld.
I think he replaced the drummer. Remember the episode where they talked about choking their chicken?
I thought they talked about not choking their chicken.
Yeah. I like that episode where he can see Elaine's boobs on the Christmas card.
No way Butt-head! I couldn't see them!
Yeah, you could see her boobs! TV needs more stuff like that.
Color Me Badd, I Wanna Sex You Up
This is that group with George Michael, and Kenny G., and Snow.
It's a superSUCKgroup!
Comateens, The Late Mistake
Oh no.
Oh God. Here we go again with another crappy suck video.
Here we go again.
This sucks!
[Imitating lead singer] UHUHUHUHUHUHUH!
Oh God.
What the hell is the problem with this crap?
This sucks.
[Sees a note that says Don't try to follow] Yeah, I think that's what that note said.
[in time with the song] Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch. Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch.
If those were the words, it'd be cool!
I was thinking of writing a song called "Damn it, Son of a bitch!" And it's gonna go something like "Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch/Damn it, damn it, son of a bitch/Son of a BIIIITTTCCCHHHH!/SON OF A BITCH, SON OF A BITTTCCHHH!/Dammit dammit dammit".
That's pretty cool.
[The lead singer hides herself in a coffin]
She sucks so bad, they locked her in a box. You know who else ought to do a concert inside of a box? Nelson.
Yeah, Bon Jovi.
[Two men are trying to open a coffin]
How come those guys have to use a crowbar? Nobody nailed it shut!
They're using Crowbar?
Yeah. They should get that big fat dude from Crowbar to come into this video and straighten everybody out.
Yeah. He'd make them all do push-ups.
Compulsion, Delivery
Um...water! Wa-ter!
Yep, there's some water.
I'm getting sick and tired of these videos where there's like, college dudes, and they're all in the water and you know, being all smartass...
Yeah yeah, really.
Uh...maybe we should turn the TV off.
Okay, yeah! Let's turn it off. Okay. [Butt-head turns the TV off; the two sigh in relaxation] Um...hmm...so um...how's it going?
Uh...pretty good.
So um...so uh...so what did you do today?
Uh...I've been sitting here all day, Beavis.
Oh yeah.
Uh...oh boy.
Ahh! Okay. So um...you been getting any?
Uh...no.
So um...what's on TV?
Uh...I don't know, let's see.
Yeah, yeah! That's a good idea! [The video comes back on] Oh, cool! A video! Ahh, this is great.
Coolio, Gangsta's Paradise
MPMichelle Pfeiffer
You wanna tell me what this is all about?
You wanna tell me what this is all about?
The reason I brought you here, is I wanna do you.
Uh...oh yeah. This is from that movie where like, you know, that white chick goes into the hood and teaches everybody how to get good grades.
Oh yeah. They always have movies like that where there's this teacher, and there's like all good, and everybody stops being a gangsta and everybody gets good grades and goes to college.
Yeah, and it's like, you know, she "makes a difference" or something.
Yeah. That's really stupid.
Yeah. They should like, make a movie that's, you know, realistic...
Uh-huh.
...where the teacher sucks, nobody learns anything, and in the end, it's like you be all stupid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! That would rule! And then it's like, see, you could have some cars blowing up and stuff, and you could like, show some boobs, and like, a big chase scene, you know...that would rule!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.