Kind of evil make me want to grab my submachine.
Whoa! This is pretty violent.
Whoa! He shouldn't have shot that chick. She's pretty hot.
I would've taken her off his hands.
Yeah, you know what he should have done? He should have fired some warning shots in the air, and that would have scared her away. And then I could score.
I guess if a chick has to choose between dying or like doing it with you, you might actually have a chance of scoring, Beavis.
Yeah, I know! That's why I was suggesting it.
David Cassidy, Lyin' To Myself
Hey Butt-head, did you see it when Bonaduce fought Donny Osmond?
Uh... that was on Pay-per-view, Beavis. We don't get that.
Yeah, but I saw like, highlights from it later. It was cool. Did you see when Bonaduce fought Geraldo?
Oh yeah! Was that when he like, threw a chair at him and broke his nose?
That would be cool like, if Mrs. Partridge kicked Geraldo's ass.
Yeah, yeah! And the winner gets to face Bonaduce in the finals.
That would be cool if like, the whole Partridge family kicked Geraldo's ass.
Oh yeah! And then like, Tracy could kick him in the nads.
Yeah. She could stick her tambourine up his butt.
Or like, Chris could stick a drumstick up his butt.
And then Geraldo would be saying, 'That's no fair, there's two Chris's!'
Yeah. [Imitating Michael Buffer] ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?!
Chavez, Break Up Your Band
That dude looks kinda funny.
Yeah. Yeah, he kinda was.
Uhh...I dunno, some kind of show.
Yeah, this is kinda cool.
Uhh, yeah. I mean, it's like, the music is horrible. But it rules!
We should watch this all the time. Yeah, this rules.
I bet you could score with some of those chicks in the audience by just going up to them and saying, "Hey baby. I'm NOT in the band."
Yeah, yeah! Like, all you'd have to do is say "Yeah, I have nothing to do with these guys. Wanna make out?" That would rule.
You know, it's like, this video's cool. It's got something for everyone. You know, like, whatever you're into, like, if you're into a dude wiggling his butt around, they've got that.
If you're into lions, they've got that.
Yeah, yeah. Or if you're into horrible music, they have that too. Yeah, something for everybody.
Yeah, everybody is stupid!
Cheech & Chong, I'm Not Home Right Now
Whoa! He's just like, walking around in his underwear!
Yeah, yeah and he's having popcorn for breakfast, that's pretty cool!
Butt-head, you think he has morning wood?
Yeah. He's got a breakfast burrito.
Yeah. [[Imitates Mexican accent] And a chimichanga! A chimichanga!
Whoa, check it out, Butt-head! How did that dude get all those chicks?
'Cause, dumbass, his name is Schlong.
Oh yeah! Cheech & Schlong. I forgot about that. You know what? Cheech should change his name to Buttcheeks, and then it's like, Buttcheeks & Schlong.
Uh...I don't think you'd get chicks with a name like Buttcheeks, Beavis.
Um...oh. That was my nickname when I was a kid--Buttcheeks.
Chick, Malibu
Check it out, Butt-head, a whore!
Uh...what makes you think that's a whore, Beavis?
I was just, you know, I was just pretending, I guess. I don't know.
Uh...well, if you're gonna do that, why not just pretend, you know, you're doing it with her?
Oh, well I was gonna do that. See, I was gonna pretend she was a whore, and then I was gonna pretend I had some money, and then I was gonna pretend I was doing her, see? That's how it works, see? That's what you call a fantasy, bungwipe.
You know what this chick's name is?
No, I'm serious. I've seen this before. Her name's Chick. That's pretty cool, 'cause you can remember her name, 'cause she's a chick, and her name is Chick.
Oh yeah. Maybe I should change my name to "Dude".
Yeah, or maybe you could change it to "Dumbass".
She's supposed to be like in high school or something?
Uh...I don't know, she looks pretty old.
Yeah, I think you're not allowed to become a whore until you get older.
Uh...you're still pretending she's a whore, Beavis? I thought you'd be pretending you were doing it by now.
Well if you would shut up, maybe I would concentrate! Bunghole.
Cinderella, Somebody Save Me
[two girls are seen from the back running down a hallway]
Uh, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt!
[joining in] Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt!
Uh, I think this is gonna be stupid.
Yeah! Who the hell is this buttmunch?
Why is this dork here? [mocking the lead singer's expression] "Duuuuuuuhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhhhh! "
This is like: "Behind the scenes at a crappy band recording session! "
Look at that guy's poodle hair!
These guys probably, like, went to Super Cuts and said: "Could you just, like, make it more poofy? "
Yeah, yeah: "But keep the length! We want it, like, poofy on top, and then long and straight on the sides, yeah. That would look really cool! "
So like, did you ask the barber to make your hair poofy too?
Shut up, Butt-head! My hair's like this naturally. That's how come I'm cool.
No wonder you're such a wuss!
Shut up, Butt-head! Chicks like it.
That guy looks like a cheerleader. Yeah, yeah: "All those years of hard work and practice in the garage, finally pay off when you see the looks on those peoples faces out in the audience! "
These dudes are like: "Look at me, I'm kicking! "
"Yeah, yeah, look at me! I'm throwing my guitar around and wiggling my butt, see?! Just like we practiced! "
"Yeah, look at me! I'm shaking my hips and kicking just like we did at practice! "
Oh, man! Boy I'm glad that's over.
Yeah. Check it though, they're not stopping.
TK Tom Keifer
So what do you think, y'think we got a hit with this one?
[mockingly] "So you think we got a hit? Mwuh wuh buh uhhhh. "
[the two girls return and run towards the band]
[mockingly] Ohhhh, ah ha ha ha ha! Boy, that was funny!
Eh ha ha ha! Ohhhhh, they went to Bon Jovi! [mock laughter]
Circle Jerks, I Wanna Destroy You
These guys are in a trash can.
Yeah. Somebody probably threw them in the garbage.
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