“Dumb Design” quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Hold on a sec' boys. Let me ask you a question. Do you really believe in evolution? Can you honestly say you understand it?

Butt-head

Uhh, no.

Beavis

I-I never could understand that crap.

It's so complicated, no one can. My dad says the reason no one understands it is because it isn't true. He says learning it in biology class isn't worth going to hell for. [fist bumps his dad]

Bottom line is, Positive Acting Teens don't believe in evolution, and don't think they should have to learn it. Right guys?

Yaaay!

Butt-head

Uh, so like, if something's too complicated to understand, we shouldn't have to learn it?

That's right.

Butt-head

Cool!

Beavis

Yeah, really! I don't understand half the crap they talk about in there! Way too complicated.

Butt-head

Yeah. Maybe these people are cool.

Van Driessen

The Pythagorean Theorem can best be expressed with this equation: A squared, plus B squared, equals C squared.

Butt-head

Uhh...

Van Driessen

Yes, Butt-head?

Butt-head

Uh, We shouldn't have to learn this.

Beavis

Yeah yeah.

Van Driessen

Uh, why not?

Butt-head

'Cause my uncle's not a monkey!

Beavis

Yeah yeah! That's right!

Van Driessen

This is geometry, not evolution. M'kay?

Butt-head

Tell that to the Lord.

Beavis

But it shall go unanswered as you roam the fiery pit of damnation! [they get up to leave]

Butt-head

You're going to hell.

Coach Buzzcut

Now, to start a wrestling match, one wrestler gets down on all fours, and the other wrestler mounts him from behind like so!

Butt-head

Whoa! You're definitely going to hell.

Beavis

Yeah! I don't understand that at all. I mean, if it's okay for you guys...

Butt-head

To each his own.

So, thanks to Beavis and Butt-head, you don't have to learn about evolution today if you don't want to.

Butt-head

We're popular.

Beavis

That's us.

Looks like no one wants to, very well. Then today, you have to study this. [pulls out a large textbook about Intelligent Design] I only have one copy, so please take detailed notes. The theory of Intelligent Design holds that certain features of the universe...

Butt-head

Uhhh, wait a minute.

Beavis

Oh boy...

Butt-head

I knew that Max guy wasn't cool. Let's get out of here, Beavis. We're going to hell.

Beavis

Yeah, maybe it won't be so bad. The charred walls of the damned...