“Holy Cornholio” quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis

[after accidentally forcing a screw through his hand, playing with an action figure and a screwdriver] Ahh! Butt-Head!

Butt-Head

[referring to the screw] It's in his butt.

Beavis

It hurts!

Butt-Head

Uh, I wouldn't know.

Beavis

Uh, oh yeah! Well, I mean, the screw, went into my hand! Come on, get it out!

Oh my God! He's bleeding!

Butt-Head

Cool! Uh, don't worry, I'll fix it.

Beavis

Come on, Butt-Head, do something! [Butt-Head grabs a power drill] AHH! [holds hand away]

Butt-Head

Settle down, Beavis! [Beavis looks unsure] Uh, okay this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it's gonna hurt me. How hold still, dumbass! [Beavis, shuts his eyes and holds both hands out to Butt-Head, who accidentally forces the screw even deeper, through his other hand attaching his hands together]

Beavis

Cut it out, bunghole!!

[panicking] OH MY GOD!

Butt-Head

Uhh, I think this screwdriver's like broken or something.

Oh my God! Butt-Head, you gotta get Beavis to the hospital!

Butt-Head

Don't worry, Beavis. It's not the first time you've screwed your hand.

Beavis

Oh yeah! Ow!

[with parents and their newborn baby] He's so beautiful! What are you gonna name him?

Well, we've always liked the name, Theo-

Beavis

I am Cornholio! You will name your baby, Bungholio! An albino? Hoolio, bunghholio! He will be an albino! [walks away as Butt-Head approaches] And a gringo.

Butt-Head

Uh, are you gonna feed him with your boob? That would be cool.

  Excuse me young brother, may we ask you a question?

Beavis

  Are you threatening me?!  My bunghole will ask the questions!  "Why do I not use T.P. for my pee-pee?"

  The beloved always did like riddles.

Beavis

  You will belove my bunghole!  For I am the great Cornholio!  I need T.P. for my bunghole!

  Look! His hands! He has the stigmata!

Beavis

  Stigmata-tata from Lake Titicaca!