Whoa! Are these video games?
Cool! Me first! Me first!
“Drones” · Season 8, Episode 5
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (3), Smart Beavis (3), David Van Driessen (1)
Now, I know we all think of the army as a killing machine, but unlike the marauding forces that perpetrated war crimes in Vietnam, today's army focuses more on peace-keeping and winning hearts and minds. M'kay?
LDLieutenant Decker
No, it's about killing the enemy. We actually focus on that quite a bit.
Right, well killing them with kindness.
LDLieutenant Decker
Not so much, really. Mostly with weapons. Everything from bayonets to stinger missiles.
Yes, which are fired only in self defense.
LDLieutenant Decker
Sometimes. Sometimes we just kill the bastards in their sleep. Gives us the element of surprise.
Um... how about we take a look at the barracks?
[reading the "Drone Control" sign] Drain central? This must be the bathroom.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Heh. You know, see, that makes more sense than calling it a bathroom, because that's where you go to drain your lizard. You know what I'm saying? Drain central.
Whoa! Are these video games?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool! Me first! I hope this game is unrated. That would be cool. [the sound beeps] Well, check it out. I think this is Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, but with airplanes.
Cool.
Where are the prostitutes?
Uh, I think you need to find San Andreas first.
Oh, yeah. Here we go. I'm gonna shoot some prostitutes.
Hey, whoa! Check it out. Are those prostitutes? I think they have fur coats on. [flies the drone close to a herd of sheep, scaring them away]
Damn it, butthole, you scared away all the prostitutes. Let me handle this. [plays with the joystick in a suggestive manner] Hey, Beavis, check it out. I'm fantasizing about your mom.
[the duo fights with the remote]
Damn it, Butt-Hhead, cut it out!
Wank...
I was here first. [pushes Butt-head to another seat]
Damn it, Beavis, I'm gonna kick your ass! [the sound beeps] Whoa. This one's cooler, anyway. This is gonna be cool.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.