Commissioner Gordon quotes from Batman: The Animated Series

Commissioner Gordon

Look up "slippery" in the dictionary and you get Josiah Wormwood.

Joker

Rumor has it, Christmas is a time to share with family.

Yea!

Joker

And since I don't have one of my own...

Aww...

Joker

I decided to STEAL one!

Yea!

Joker

And here they are: The Awful Lawful Family! [lights turn on and reveal Gordon, Summer, and Bullock tied up and gagged] Aren't they just the cutest family you've ever seen?

Batman

[watching in the Batmobile] It's never easy with the Joker.

Joker

Meet Daddy Lawful! [ungags Gordon]

Commissioner Gordon

You diseased maniac! I'll- [Joker gags him again]

Joker

Hmm. Looks like I'll have to teach Daddy some manners. And here's Mommy Lawful! [ungags Summer]

Help! Somebody please help us- [Joker gags her again]

Joker

Ho ho ho, isn't she jolly? And here we have little Baby Lawful! Coochie coochie coo! [ungags Bullock]

Detective Bullock

When I get my hands on you, I'll rip your- [Joker gags him again]

Joker

I'll bet Batman wishes he had a family just like mine. Personally I think relatives are a bore, so Batman can have them... [points to clock showing 10:30PM] if he can find them by midnight! Otherwise... [makes a throat-slashing motion and laughs]

Commissioner Gordon

I have to hand it to you, Montoya. You and the Batman really turned this thing around.

Yeah, what a collar! You didn't just bust 'em, you put the whole gang out of commission.

What collar? She's suspended.

Commissioner Gordon

This farce has gone far enough, Hackle! We apprehended the suspects and recovered our money. The investigation is closed! Officer Montoya earned this collar.

The collar belongs to all three of us, Commissioner. It was a team effort.

Gee... thanks, partner.

Detective Bullock

Yeah, yeah.

What was that, Bullock?

Detective Bullock

I said... Thanks a lot, Montoya.

Bruce Wayne

And who's your little friend?

Barbara Gordon

Oh, this is Wubby. I've had him forever. Dad won't pick me up at the airport without bringing him along.

Commissioner Gordon

Well... he knows the way better than I do.