Buster Baxter quotes from Arthur

Buster

(pretends that Arthur is being protected by the baby's dirty diapers.) This should protect you from those smelly diapers!

(muffled) Yeah, I can't smell everything.

Buster

Good.

(muffled) But I can't breathe.

Buster

*gasps* Whoa!! *loud crash* (tries to pull the shoe off of Arthur's mouth, and as this happens, Arthur gasps for breath and Buster accidentally crashes through some of Arthur's parents' things.)

What's the big deal with babies? They didn't even do anything.

Buster

Maybe you can teach your baby to do something useful, like earn money for you.

Presenting the Amazing Baby.

Thank you. Thank you.

Or do your homework.

And when you're done with math, don't forget to write my report on Magellan!

*sighs* If only life were like it.

Pretty soon, you can forget about playing after school; you'll have to babysit! (laughs)

(in disappointmently) Yes.

Francine

And you'll start talking baby talk. All the time.

Good catch, Read! You all right?

(in baby talk) Got a stinky diaper..

Francine

(holding her nose) Oh, Arthur still uses diapers like a baby..

(holding his nose) And you stink real bad, too.

I guess I'm ready for this baby right now. I've thought of everything.

Buster

What if your mom has more than one?

Arthur, can you watch Kate while I go upstairs?

Um, are you sure?

Oh, I'm sure you'll do just fine.

Here, you dropped this.

(angrilyerish) ARTHUR!!! WAS THAT ON THE FLOOR? IT HAS TO BE "STERILIZED"!!

Hold this. (opens the bag, but things fall on the floor) Dang it. (grabs the tissue) Don't worry about it, I will take care of everything. (wipes the pacifier with her tissue, blows on it, rubs it on her nurse outfit, and puts it back in Kate's mouth. Then Kate stops crying and falls asleep when the pacifier is in her mouth. Afterwards, the doorbell rings.) I'll get it.

Hi.

Buster

Can Arthur come out?

No, he was babysitting. Would you like to come in and see the baby?

Yeah. Sure.

Do not get too close, because you have germs!

Francine

What a cute baby. She looks just like me when I was a baby.

Everyone stand back. I know what she needs. (She then grabs the baby bottle out of her nurse bag and tries giving it to Kate. She jolts her head back and forth, then cries again. D.W. then gives the bottle to Francine.) Everyone remain calm!

Francine

Arthur, aren't you going to help?

No, I'll only make it worse!

I know what to do. Arthur, hold her while I get a clean diaper.

Buster

Come on, Kate. (makes mouth noises, but Kate continues crying)

(holding Kate and patting her) I wonder what she's trying to tell us! (Kate then poops and sighs. She then falls asleep right on Arthur's shoulders)

Ew!

Oh what is this smell!? Is everything all right? (D.W. is shocked to see that Arthur calmed Kate down.)

It was now.

Buster

Arthur got the baby to poop right when she was about to explode! (Kate then kisses Arthur, but Buster thinks she's spitting on him) Oh, gross. She's spitting on him.

Francine

She's not. She's kissing him.

Buster

Can't you just show it to me for one second?

I guess. Mom would never even know. [they start playing "Deep Dark Sea"]

Arthur, what are you doing? Mom told you not to play on her computer.

I'm not playing. I'm just showing it to Buster. Go somewhere else!

If I go away, I will probably tell Dad. And besides, I need to watch.

Be quiet.

Buster

Wow! Even the Brain didn't get this far.

What's that?

I don't know.

Buster

Go for it. Maybe this is the thing.

A treasure chest.

Buster

I think this is it. This is...

The thing!

I think I won. We've gotta open it.

Buster

You've wrecked it!

No, I didn't. You knocked the keyboard off the desk.

Buster

Because you pushed my arm. Try turning it off and on again. [Arthur presses the top button below the slot, but nothing seems to budge]

You killed it! Now Mom will lose her job. Then we'll lose the house, and live in the street, and Kate will get pneumonia, and we'll all starve!

D.W., I'm thinking.

And it was all your fault! So you better fix it, because I love living here! [Buster grabs onto the computer tensely]

Don't do it. You'll make it worse.

Buster

Maybe you better call your mom.

I could't. She said not to play with it. But now I wrecked it! I got it. Maybe we could fix it before she gets home.

Maybe a rich family will adopt me. I'm cute.

Buster

Who'd know how to fix a computer?

[enthusiastically] The Brain!

You big liar! You lie! You're just a lie-y liar! You big lying lie-face!

Well, I hope you've learned your lesson, Arthur, which is, namely, never to lie because when you lie, you... well, you're doing a very, very bad thing.

Francine

Hi, Arthur. I wanted to tell you, I'm glad you told the truth.

Buster

Hey, anybody wanna play kickball?

Yeah, sure! Come on, Binky!

Francine

Come on, Arthur. I'm not mad at you anymore.

You're doing it all wrong!

I am not! I am not! I am not!

What's going on, you two?

Arthur's ruining the game! He's not playing right.

I am so! I roll the dice, I move around the board.

But you're supposed to be having fun. Look at the little boy on the box!

That little boy is not playing with you.

Arthur, is there another game you can play?

Yes. I'll go set it up.

Mom, Dad! I can't write a report that I played Confuse the Goose! Everyone will laugh at me.

Why don't you read a book to D.W.?

Yes, that should be quiet... eh, fun.

Mom and Dad said I don't have to play that. But I'll read to you.

Mom! Arthur said you said he didn't have to play with me!

Buster

I don't know what you can do, Arthur.

Everything around here is too boring to be in a report.

I'm ready! Hm-hm! Hm-hm! Hm-hm!

Just watch wrestling until the rain stops. How long can it rain for?

This system is very similar to a monsoon during which it rains nonstop for an entire month.

Arthur? Are you still here?

Like it would be so hard to play one game of Confuse the Goose with your adorable sister.

"Once upon a time..."

Let me guess. They lived happily ever after, right?

Right.

I knew it. Boring!

Francine

We weren't there when Arthur did it!

I didn't do it!

Somebody did it. I want a confession. Confess! Confess!

Buster

I've reached a conclusion by discerning the truth from the eyewitness accounts. It's very simple. While we were busy, a space alien materialized. In a scientific search for samples of human food, he took the snowball and nothing else, because he left in a hurry.

Huh?! Now who left that freezer door open?

Buster

It's the only logical answer. That's why the plate is missing also.

Francine

That's crazy!

One of you took my snowball!

Francine

Why don't you just confess, Buster?

Yeah!

Buster

Me? Why don't you?!

Francine

It was probably Arthur.

Me? How could you think I would do something like that?

Whoever did it should just admit it. It's not nice to do this to a little girl.

I think you're all in on it. You're trying to break a child's heart. It's a conspiracy!

You know, someone's going to get their feelings hurt if everyone doesn't calm down.

Mr. Ratburn

The Great Wall of China is 1500 miles long. It was built over 2000 years ago and still stands today.

Wow.

Buster

[whispers] That's even older than the cafeteria hot dogs.

Mr. Ratburn

Ahem! He shows the next slide. The Appian Way was the chief highway from Rome to Greece. It was built in 312 B.C. It's still in use today. He switches the lights back on. We’re going to divide into teams to study and report on important ancient civilizations. The team to report on Rome: Arthur, Francine and Buster.

Great team!

Francine

Oh, boy!

Buster

Great!

Oh, Grandma! I'm so glad you changed your mind. I can't believe we're going to the restaurant after all.

Hey, what are you telling Grandma?!

Nope, it was nothing, D.W., now leave me alone! What's that, Grandma! Oh, yes, I think it'll be just as much fun without her.

Without who?! Let me talk to her! [tries to take the phone]

D.W., isn't there some dancing vegetable on T.V.?

Give me the phone!! I can go wherever I want!!

But you said you didn't want to go to restaurants, remember that? And this one might have spinach. And... [holds the phone out of D.W.'s reach]

Grandma, I'm coming to your party, and it's gonna be lots of fun! Ha, so there! You're not the boss of me, Arthur Read!

Well, Grandma, I guess there's nothing that I could do. We're just going to have to take D.W. with us.

Yeah, that's right. Mom, Dad. I wanna go to the restaurant. And I'll try new food, and eat it all! [runs to find her parents]

Well, this works, but, thanks!

Buster

[at the other end, impersonating Grandma Thora] I'm glad I can help you, sonny!

Buster

[To Francine after Slink whisper to him just one last dare.] Uh, Francine, I need advice!

Francine

What does he need advice for? He just has to run home as fast as he can.

Where's he going now?

He's running home as fast as he can.

Francine

Buster Baxter, I'm gonna get you!!!!!

Buster

And then, the evil genius escapes in his supersonic jet to his other space station shaped which is shaped like a giant clam and...

Buster, snap out of it!

Francine

Buster, there's no way we could do something that complicated.

Buster

Huh?! Oh, you're right. Why even bother?

Well, we could do a supersonic jet.

Buster

Really?

Paper. Marker. Spray-paint. Tah-da!

Buster

Wow! It's just like I imagined! Better!

[?] Hold it! This is not gonna be movie.

Buster Baxter

It could be?

No way!

Buster Baxter

Coming to theater near you!

It is NOT!

Buster Baxter

[?] ???

Francine

She's giving me the creeps, Arthur. Why don't you give her the CD back?

I don't have it. Don't you believe me?

Francine

Mm-mmm.

Buster

I bet an ancient race of squid people took it to their hidden grotto far beneath the sea!